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Archive for November 12th, 2009

New Warning On “Perfect Vaginas”

Posted by jambonewspot on November 12, 2009

Women are undergoing surgery to create perfect genitalia amid a “shocking” lack of information on the potential risks of the procedure, a report says.

Research published in the British Journal of Obstetrics and Gynaecology also questions the very notion of aesthetically pleasing genitals.

Operations to improve the appearance of the sex organs for both psychological and physical reasons are on the rise.

But surgeons said the report overplayed the risks of an established procedure.

Researchers from University College London reviewed all the existing studies on cosmetic labial surgery – which generally involves reducing the amount of tissue that protrudes from the lips which cover the vagina. They found there had been little work to document any longer-term side effects.

Labioplasty, as it is known, costs about £3,000 privately and is offered for a variety of reasons: some women complain that wearing tight clothes or riding a bike is uncomfortable, while others say they are embarrassed in front of a sexual partner.

 

This is a procedure which we have been doing since the 1970s – any operation performed poorly carries risks, but when it’s done properly there are very few issues at all
Angelica Kavouni Plastic surgeon

But consultant gynaecologist Sarah Creighton and psychologist Lih-Mei Liao challenged the ethics of offering women surgery to address such insecurities, suggesting it was adverts for a “homogenised, pre-pubescent genital appearance” which created these anxieties in the first place.

They also suggested that any pain apparently caused by protrusion may well have a psychological root – noting that male genitalia protrude far further without causing major discomfort.

Counselling and support could therefore be a preferable alternative to surgery, they argue.

Female circumcision

The number of women undergoing labioplasty nationwide is unknown as the majority of the operations are performed privately, but last year procedures on the NHS increased by 70% on the previous year to 1,118.

In studies dating back to 1950, examined by the researchers, dissatisfaction with the way the vagina looked was the primary reason for surgery, with patients also speaking of low self-esteem and sexual difficulties.

 

Advertisements promote labial surgery as easy answers to women’s insecurities about their genital appearances – insecurities that are fuelled by the very advertisements that prescribe a homogenised, pre-pubescent genital appearance standard for all women
Lih-Mei Liao Report author

But rather than curing sexual problems, Dr Creighton suggested surgery might exacerbate them by damaging the nerve supply to the area, impairing sexual sensitivity and satisfaction.

She also suggests that women who undergo this procedure might experience similar problems in childbirth as those who have experienced female genital mutilation, in which parts of the vagina are ritualistically removed.

It is now well documented that women who have undergone such circumcision are more likely to experience significant tearing and bleeding after labour and even the death of their babies, problems which are overcome by Caesarean delivery.

“Labial surgery needs to be rigorously evaluated in future, and for longer term,” said Dr Creighton.

“Furthermore, quality research is needed to improve our understanding of the psychological drivers behind women’s decision to sacrifice sexually sensitive tissue that contributes to erotic experiences, for a certain genital appearance that used to be an obligation only for some glamour models.”

‘Terrorising’ patients

Douglas McGeorge, past president of the the British Association of Aesthetic Plastic Surgeons, rejected the comparison with female circumcision, arguing it was a relatively minor operation with few possible complications.

“They’ve gone a bit over the top. Essentially this is just about removing a bit of loose flesh, leaving behind an elegant-looking labia with minimum scarring. The procedure won’t interfere with sexual function.

“Women want this for a number of reasons – some find it uncomfortable to ride a bike for instance, but for the majority it is aesthetic, that’s true.

“Lads’ mags are looked at by girlfriends, and make them think more about the way they look. We live in times where we are much more open about our bodies – and changing them – and labioplasty is simply a part of this.”

Angelica Kavouni, a cosmetic surgeon who carries out labioplasty, said it was wrong to “terrorise patients” with suggestions of long-term consequences.

“This is a procedure which we have been doing since the 1970s. Any operation performed poorly carries risks, but when it’s done properly there are very few issues at all.

“I have seen women who I have sent away because I don’t think they have a problem, but for women with serious hypertrophy – when the tissue is dark and hangs down – there is a simple way to deal with it. The feedback I receive is very positive indeed.”

BJOG editor Professor Philip Steer said the study “underlines the need for multidisciplinary research to investigate the range of factors that affect women’s sexual function and wellbeing.

“Reliable information on the risks and benefits of labial surgery, as well as alternative approaches, is vital to ensuring informed choice for women.”

source: www.bbc.co.uk

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Milton man helps Kenyan orphans to honor late wife

Posted by jambonewspot on November 12, 2009

By Ralph Ellis

 

The Atlanta Journal-Constitution

 

1:39 p.m. Wednesday, November 11, 2009

 

Two years ago, David Gruber of Milton traveled 8,000 miles to Kenya to dedicate an orphanage for children with AIDS and HIV.

 

On Saturday, Gruber will help those kids further through the Run for Rebecca, a 5-K run he organized in Alpharetta named after a girl who has managed to survive the disease.

 

Some of those children live in Kathi’s House, a residence named after his late wife.

 

She was a 52-year-old Korean War orphan who died of cancer in June 2007. While grieving, Gruber heard about the Kenyan orphanage project and threw himself into raising money to help it open.

 

Organizers named the first residence building after Kathi because of her giving spirit. Gruber went to Kenya and on Nov. 11, 2007, cut the ribbon to officially open the simple stone building in the Great Rift Valley.

 

The Atlanta Journal-Constitution told Gruber’s story in December 2007.

 

The father of two daughters said he sends money to the orphanage, but he has been back to Kenya only one other time.

 

“It’s either spend the money to travel there or spend the money so the kids can eat and go to school,” the IT executive said. “I don’t know if [the run] will be a big money-maker, but it will be an awareness generator.”

 

On-site registration begins at 6 a.m. and the run starts at 7 Saturday at Wills Park in Alpharetta. For information, go to partnersforcare.org.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

http://www.ajc.com/news/north-fulton/milton-man-helps-kenyan-193667.html

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Kenya draft constitution due next week

Posted by jambonewspot on November 12, 2009

NAIROBI, Kenya, Nov 12 – The eagerly awaited harmonised draft Constitution will now be published on Tuesday next week.

The Director of the Committee of Experts (CoE) Ekuru Aukot confirmed to Capital News that the draft would be made public at the Kenyatta International Conference Centre on November 17 at 10am.

After it is made public, Kenyans will be given 30 days to scrutinise the draft and suggest amendments.

Dr  Aukot said they are bound by the review law that gives a 30-day period despite pleas to extend it.

He said the draft would be published in newspapers, and copies distributed through civil society interest groups and at provincial administration offices.

The development comes as the Cabinet embarks on a three-day national leaders retreat which on the surface is supposed to enhance unity and cohesion in the coalition government.

The forum is also expected to debate the harmonised draft constitution.

A number of foreign speakers have been invited to present papers at the retreat, which is also meant to devise a way forward on how best the coalition government can deliver its mandate and improve its economic, social and political performance.

President Kibaki and Prime Minister Raila Odinga are expected to make their opening statements on Saturday morning.
 
According to the constitution framework calendar, the draft law had been expected before the end of the week. The team held a bonding session two weeks ago in which they had committed to finalise the draft in readiness for release.

This week, committee chairman Nzamba Kitonga had called for patience from Kenyans saying “there will be no secrecy about the law.”

“I urge the press to refrain from publishing documents that have not been fully agreed on and which are possibly working drafts which were used in the past,” the chairman pleaded in response to reports in the press.

Mr Kitonga urged Parliament to move with haste in the formulation of a referendum law to facilitate a vote on the draft constitution. He asked the legislators to ensure that there is a smooth flow of the process at its critical stage.

CAPITAL FM

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1000 Voices for Hope, Building Mahiga Hope High School in Kenya

Posted by jambonewspot on November 12, 2009

The Nobelity Project, currently releasing the feature documentary One Peace at a Time, is drawing on the film’s success to build Mahiga Hope High School in rural Kenya. We’re looking for 1,000 donors to help create true opportunity for hundreds of kids in East Africa.

Our first donors are Willie Nelson, Lyle Lovett, Emily Robison and Martie Maguire of The Dixie Chicks. Join the Choir! Be one of 1000 Voices for Hope!

1000 Donors x $100 = HOPE (Mahiga HOPE High School)

PRESS AVAILABILITY: Director Turk Pipkin (founder of the Nobelity Project) is available for print, tv, web and radio interviews in New York City from November 18 -20.

Link to the fundraising campaign: http://www.nobelity.org

Austin, TX (MMD Newswire) November 12, 2009 — The Nobelity Project’s partnership with the community of Mahiga, Kenya plays a key role in the new feature doc, One Peace at a Time, with a national theatrical release beginning Dec 4 – 10 at Regal’s Arbor Cinema in Austin, TX. Director Turk Pipkin planted trees at the Mahiga Primary School while filming his previous doc, Nobelity. Learning that the kids were walking miles for water, Pipkin pledged to build a water system for the school.

His commitment grew into great things for a school that was on the verge of collapse. Mahiga Primary School now has a rainwater system providing purified water, electricity and lights, new classrooms and a computer lab. It’s now the top-rated school in the district, educating 400 girls and boys from pre-school to grade 8.

But education shouldn’t end after the 8th Grade. With no high school in the area, The Nobelity Project has pledged to build Mahiga Hope High School, a modern facility with eight classrooms, science labs, a book library and a computer library.

The work is moving quickly, and the high school is expected to be open and fully operational next summer, 2010. Pipkin’s concept of the multipurpose RainWater Court, a basketball court that supplies purified drinking water and serves as an outdoor classroom, performance space and movie theater – won the Nike GameChangers Award, which includes funding and the support of Architecture for Humanity to build the Court.

To complete funding for the high school, The Nobelity Project has launched 1000 Voices for Hope, a national campaign in partnership with GlobalGiving.com to inspire 1,000 people to donate $100 each to the school.
1000 Donors x $100 = HOPE (Mahiga HOPE High School)

American legend Willie Nelson is the founding member of this choir of Hope, and has donated the first $100. Lyle Lovett has joined in with a $100 chorus. Additional hundred dollar harmony from Martie Maguire and her sister Emily Robison of The Dixie Chicks.

Learn more about this inspiring work, meet the kids of Mahiga via a moving 2-minute video, and “Join the Choir” by making your tax-deductible donation at: http://www.globalgiving.com/projects/mahigahopehigh/

One Peace at a Time.
Audiences can see the successes at Mahiga Primary School in our new feature doc, One Peace at a Time, an inspiring feature documentary highlighting solutions to some of the world’s most pressing problems. The film includes the insights of Nobel Peace laureate Muhammad Yunus, Nobel Physicist Steven Chu, (current Secretary of Energy), Dr. Helene Gayle (CEO of CARE), and American legend Willie Nelson.

The film’s World Premiere in Austin played to a sold-out crowd of 1,100. One Peace won the Global Doc Audience Award at the Maui Film Festival after an outdoor screening for 3,000. Matthew McConaughey and Camilla Alves, Billy Bob Thornton, Dennis Quaid and Peter Fonda all walked the red carpet to support the film at its recent Los Angeles Premiere. Joining in a standing ovation for the film, McConaughey said, “That movie was bad-ASS!”

The trailer for the film, with music by Ben Harper, is on the Nobelity Project’s website at:
http://www.nobelity.org

Promotion Partnership with ONE.org
The national release begins in Austin, Dec 4-10 at Regal’s Arbor Cinema. Sharing the ONE Campaign’s commitment to end extreme poverty in the world, ONE Peace at a Time will have the support of ONE.org to turn out ONE members for screenings around the country.

A NY Media Preview Screening with director Turk Pipkin is scheduled for Wednesday, November 18 at the Bennett Media Lab, 725 Washington St, NYC. Media interested in attending or in interviews with director Turk Pipkin about the film and the 1000 Voices for Hope campaign should contact: Christy@nobelity.org

One Peace at a Time is produced by the Nobelity Project, a 501c3 nonprofit working for a more peaceful and sustainable world. The Nobelity Project collaborates with Nobel laureates and other leaders to provide reliable information and innovative thinking on pressing global problems and solutions that work.

About the Director:
Actor, writer and filmmaker Turk Pipkin directed the award-winning documentary Nobelity. As an actor, he appeared in the feature films Friday Night Lights, and Scanner Darkly. On HBO’s The Sopranos, Turk played the recurring role of Janice’s narcoleptic boyfriend, Aaron Arkaway. He is the author of ten books including the recent New York Times best-seller, The Tao of Willie, co-authored with Willie Nelson.

“Right and wrong is not that hard. It’s just what you choose to do.”
- Willie Nelson, One Peace at a Time

Distributed by: Monterey Media, a uniquely independent studio

contact Monterey media:
Jenny Manochio
jmanocchio@montereymedia.com

contact The Nobelity Project:
Christy Pipkin
christy@nobelity.org

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Tycoon wants Sh92m divorce deal stopped

Posted by jambonewspot on November 12, 2009

By EUNICE MACHUHIPosted Thursday, November 12 2009 at 19:09

 

A tycoon ordered to pay his wife Sh92 million in a divorce settlement has filed an application seeking to stay the court’s decision pending appeal.

 

When he was granted the divorce in January 2008, Dr Kuwaljeet Rekhi agreed to part with the money which he was to pay ex-wife Gurbeen Kaur but later filed an application seeking to have the arrangement set aside.

 

He had said that new issues had arisen and he intended to raise them in court before a final settlement was made.

 

Dr Rekhi had also raised an issue on jurisdiction, on whether the court has power to hear the case while the properties in question were out of the country.

 

However, in July, Mr Justice Joseph Sergon dismissed the application noting it lacked merit and sufficient grounds to support it.
On Thursday when the case was mentioned before the Mr Justice Mohammed Ibrahim in Mombasa, it emerged that Ms Kaur had appointed a new firm, Lubulela and Machanja, to represent her.

 

However, Dr Rekhi through the firm of A.B. Patel, said that the new firm could not file a reply to the application as they were not properly on record.

 

The court was told that the new firm had filed a reply to the issues raised by Dr Rekhi on November 6, before it even came on record for the other party on November 9.

 

The divorce was granted by the High Court in Mombasa that noted that the union had irreparably broken down and dissolved the 20-year union.

 

The couple had agreed to share their properties in Kenya and Britain, where Ms Kaur was entitled to cash and property valued at Sh92 million.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Source: Daily Nation

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Kenya police break money racket

Posted by jambonewspot on November 12, 2009

NAIROBI, Kenya, Nov 12 – Police in Nairobi said they had broken a major fake currency printing racket and arrested two suspects.

They also recovered fake dollars amounting to $3.5 million which is equivalent to Sh260 million during a raid in a residential house in Ruaka, in the outskirts of the city.

Gigiri Divisional Police Chief David Kerina said the fake-currency manufacturing racket is masterminded by men of Congolese descent who have been duping businessmen that they would multiply their fortunes.

“It is more of a money laundering thing and investigations have been launched,” Mr Kerina said.

“We are now holding the Congolese suspects who are assisting us with further investigations. They will definitely appear in court,” he added.

Mr Kerina said they were “alerted about the issue by a city businessman who had been approached to have some of his money multiplied.”

“We asked him to arrange a meeting with them on Wednesday evening and they came with a safe full of fake dollars, which they intended to give the businessman. That is how they were arrested but we are still looking for another suspect,” he told Capital News on telephone.

The raid was conducted by undercover officers attached to the Criminal Investigations Department (CID) in Gigiri.

“These are dangerous people. We are appealing to the public not to fall victim to these conmen who have defrauded people of millions of shillings,” Mr Kerina said.

He confirmed that police were investigating numerous cases of other people who had reported having been conned under similar circumstances.

In most cases, the fake currency manufacturers approach individuals and dupe them to give them money which they would multiply in a matter of weeks or just days.

A senior CID officer at the Nairobi Central Police Station said they had documented up to 30 such cases since June this year.

“These are cases involving amounts ranging between Sh500,000 to Sh10 million or more,” the officer said.

“Some of the people conned in this fraud are people of higher status in society and even politicians. We fail to understand how they get into those dirty businesses,” the officer said.

In one instance, he said, a businessman was asked to give out Sh100 million for Sh500 million in return over a period of six months.

“He was paying the amount in installments and they made him appreciate the deal as genuine because they were able to pay him back within the first two installments and finally duped him to bring the remaining amount so that it can be multiplied at once. It was the last time he saw them,” the officer said.

Source: Capital FM

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Shock in Baltimore as yet another Kenyan dies

Posted by jambonewspot on November 12, 2009

Edgar_Gakuru_Karanja
 

Baltimore is in shock as news of yet another young Kenyan dies. The death of Edgar Gakuru Karanja ( A.K.A. Ed G) came a day before the burial of yet another young man Andrew Ndungu Muchai who died on 24 October and was buried on 7th November.

 

The pattern of these deaths is now worrying the Kenyan community in USA as they are happening too often and to young people just at their prime age. Edgar’s death is the 3rd in two weeks time after Andrew Ndungu Muchai in Baltimore and Edah Chemkung Tawarar who was found dead in her apartment in Topeka, Kansas. Many other Kenyans from different parts of USA have been found dead in their apartments over the last one year.
Edgar was found unresponsive on 11/06/ at a friend’s house and was taken to Bon Secours Hospital by emergency crew where efforts to resuscitate him were unsuccessful. He came to the US in September 2003 after winning a Green Card and was sponsored by Janet Wamuni Mwangi who is a family friend from Kenya and lived with him for a year before he moved out to stay with other friends.

Edgar was the only son in his family and had 5 sisters all in Kenya. He is the son Mr & Mrs. James Karanja Gakuru of Banana Hills, Kenya and brother to Wanjiru, Gathoni, Wairimu, Njoki and Wangui.
Friends and well wishers are meeting daily for prayers and Funeral arrangements at: 27 Blue Spire Circle Middle River, MD 21220 Tel: 443-850-4303, 410-900-0444.
Any financial assistance towards the cost of the repatriation of the body to Kenya will be much appreciated at the above venue.
MORE DETAILS WILL BE POSTED ON THIS PAGE AS SOON AS POSSIBLE
UPDATED INFO:
There will be a major fundraiser on Saturday 11/21/09 at Faith United Methodist Church 5315 Harford Rd,Baltimore .MD 21214 starting at 4pm. All are Welcome.
An account has been set up to fund raise from people out of state to help meet the Late edgars` funeral expenses. Please contact Mrs. Janet
Wamuni Mwangi 443-850-4303 or Mr. Anthony Kangethe 443-570-3010 for account details. You can also opt to send financial donations via Moneygram to Anthony Kangethe, Baltimore , MD.
Thanks.
 For further information, you can reach the following persons: –
1. Mrs. Janet Wamuni-443-850-4303
2. Mr. David Mwangi- 410-900-0444
3. Mr. Simon Ndungu( Nyoro)- 443-220-2383
4. Mr. Anthony Kangethe – 443-570-3010
5. Pastor Steve Magua- 443-889-5953
Janet told Diasporamessenger that they are waiting for an autopsy report to determine the cause of death. (Keep checking this page for updates)

 

Posted in Kenya | Tagged: , | 7 Comments »

Kenyans in the Diaspora: Is helping each other becoming suicidal?

Posted by jambonewspot on November 12, 2009

By Tony Karanja in Dallas, TX

Jambonewspot.com

If Tom Mboya was to wake up from the dead today, what would be his feelings about how Kenyans are faring in the Diaspora? Would he break into a gigantic smile smothered with pride or would he be dumbfounded by the mixed results of his hard work to give Kenyans better opportunities abroad. After all, this gallant son of Kenya is  credited with seeking support for a scholarship program that would send Kenyan students to US colleges. He turned to then-senator J.F. Kennedy for assistance. Kennedy, who chaired the senate subcommittee on Africa, arranged a $100,000 grant through his family’s foundation to help Mboya keep the program running. We all know that one of the most notable results of the first airlift of African students is the US President Barack Obama. Barack Obama senior was one of the first students to be airlifted to the US and Barack Obama Jnr was brought forth in 1961. This fact would have Tom Mboya beaming with pride. Kenyans have produced highly successful individuals who have benefited from opportunities offered overseas and have made huge developments in ploughing resources back home. Tom Mboya would be glad he helped. He would be glad he helped in opening this door to the American dream. This is all noteworthy when looking at one side of the coin but we all know there exists another side.

American Dream or the American nightmare?

Tom Mboya demonstrated that he was all about helping people-the Kenyan people. What would he think if he saw the other side of the coin? For his sake, he is okay wherever he is. In the recent past we have had numerous spates of heartbreaking and tragic stories involving our Kenyan brother and sisters. The spirit of helping and rendering support is being dealt a death blow. Kenyans eat Kenyans in episodes worth being sent to the big screens. Families are not what they used to be as they take to the American way. The American dream for our fellow Kenyans is being turned into the American nightmare by those whom we love and trust.

Helping becoming suicidal?

Countrymen, since when did helping turn suicidal? Since when did upholding the trust of our loved ones become un-classy? Let me get down to cases and points. A Kenyan couple gets married with the promise of “till death do us part.” The couple makes a vow to help in developing each other. The wife decides to advance her career by taking extra courses “to make the family’s life better.” The husband accepts and vows to support the wife in her advancement. The husband now has to adjust his lifestyle as well as having to take up additional working hours to fill in the gap left by the loss of income by his partner. So far so good. The scenario is not unique and it is repeated all across the Diaspora and more so in the US. All seems rosy and graduation day approaches. Yoo-hooo!..his wife is done with school and life is now certainly looking up….or is it?. Let’s cut the chase. That last line is sometimes hard to come by. Don’t get me wrong for I know for a fact that a small percentage live up to the hype. How many times has it reached this point and the wife walks way after graduation? How many times have we seen men have to use up all their savings as they “invest” in their partner’s development? How many times have we seen men stripped down to the bare indignity of having to start afresh as his “wife” walks into the arms of a more learned man? Some of us had to watch friends wilt away under the humiliation and devastation after being dealt the hand of wickedness and selfishness. I know you all know this and frankly it is disturbing. If this is not a fragrant abuse of trust, then I don’t know what is. If one knows they are not interested in someone, why not walk away instead of using them? What happened to eating from the fruits of your labor? Oh..sorry. I forgot we are in America and we ride on the nearest horse. Am I the only one who thinks this is going to make it difficult for men to trust women to stay after they help them with school fees? Who is to say they might not turn to the common clause used under companies’ tuition reimbursement which states, “you are required to stay with the company for x years after completion of your studies”? Let’s face it, folks. Many men shudder at the thought of footing their wives’ school bills as for some; it has become a suicidal mission. This has turned men into wrecks and shells of their former selves. Others have gone as far as threatening to commit suicide after being subjected to this indignity while others have seen their health spiral downwards to the point of hanging for dear life. Other known scenarios are cases where the jilted husband turns on the woman and the new horse. Such are the fruits of atrocities committed on our very own. Now, let me clear; this does not mean that all these walk-offs after graduations are unwarranted. Some are 100% justified. If a man treats a woman badly when she is a full time student just because there is nowhere for her to turn, then he deserves what is coming to him. If a man treats his spouse as a welfare case just because he is providing fully for her when she is in school; woe unto him. Truth be told, some women complain about their spouses treating them with disrespect just because they have no income and have to depend on them wholly. Some would go beyond the realms of reasonableness. “He really treated me like crap when I was studying for my RN classes,” one lady told this reporter during the compilation of this report. “He would flirt openly when we go out and would dare me to walk away. He knew I had no where to go,” she continued. In response to a question posed by this reporter who wanted to know why she continued to stay on while knowing all along she couldn’t tolerate the boyfriend’s behavior, she said, “If you were in my situation, what would you have done? I did not have a job, no income, no other place to stay and so I did what I had to do—ride it out.” I so wonder what Tom Mboya would say for I assume he thought we would carry on the same spirit of helping our fellow countrymen as he did.

“We the Men”

Before we dig deeper, the above might seem as heaping on the ladies but I can assure you, this is far from the truth. Every coin has two sides so let’s flip it. While men go through these unfortunate scenarios, I would be hypocritical to pretend that the fault is entirely the woman’s. Absolutely not! See, the phrase-“birds of a feather flock together”- was derived for a reason. It makes absolutely no sense for a husband or boyfriend to educate a woman but does not devote the same amount of effort to advancing himself. It is my firm belief that if you are going to urge or help your significant other to advance academically, you owe yourself the same advancement. I gleefully scoff at the idea that you can help your partner so that your family can be better off on account of her earning more and getting a better job while you remain stagnated. That is a fantasy. I dare you to prove to me that a male spouse who is a CNA is going to help his female companion to become an RN and life continues normally. I want you to challenge the fact that it is impractical for a husband who is an Accounts Clerk to help his wife to become a Certified Public Accountant while you were seated there watching her and cheering her on. She is most definitely going to frown at you and your lack of progression. Don’t be under the illusion that she will not be expecting you to take the same steps as she did although this time around you might have to still pay your way through the courses.  It is a different story when you work out a deal where  one of you goes through school first  and once they are done, the other one can then pursue his coursework. The problem arises if no attempt is made after one partner is done and there is an expectation that one will cushion the family against financial hardship. These arrangements  are certainly the way to go and this is not the bone of contention. Once one partner is done, the other one should be prepared to hit their stride too. I quote a friend who said to me, “You have to have your big dog shoes if you want to roll with the big dogs.” I understand that the man is always deemed as the head of the household but don’t assume for one moment that your woman is going to derive the same sense of security from you when you are at the bottom of her ladder as she would if you were at par or a few steps better that her. Let’s not go there because we all know… she will be tempted to leave for a “more aggressive” person.

The future is redeemable

All in all dear Kenyans, not all is lost. There are definitely good honest Kenyan men and women and that fact is undeniable. What we can’t deny is the erosion of trust amongst our people is sky rocketing. Some of the erosion is justifiable while part of it is out of pure paranoia. Every woman will have a myriad of accusations against Kenyan men in the Diaspora and on the other hand, Kenyan men will return the favor. We cannot be discouraged by the above mentioned examples or incidents but rather we must learn from them and see where the remedy lies. Maybe we can learn to talk to each other more to express our concerns instead of waiting to deliver the punitive blow. If you feel like your man is turning into a couch potato while you bring in more income at home, say something for a wise man will listen. Maybe on the other hand, we men can shed their macho attitude and learn to express our worries and concerns in the hope of working together in unison to make things right. Remember that the sign of a good talker is his or her ability to be a good listener. Let’s outstretch our hands as we go up the ladder so that our partners can join us up there too. Best friends learn to lovingly critical but warm in embrace. Let’s not change the vows from “Till death do us part” to “Till graduation do us part”. Come on, make Tom Mboya proud. Let’s not make helping a suicidal mission for we are each others best friends.

You can also contact this writer at tgkaranja@gmail.com.

 Related Article: AJABU AFRICA-Kenyan Women In The US Earning More Than Kenyan Men

http://www.ajabuafrica.com/Kenyan%20Women%20in%20the%20US%20earn%20percent%20%20more%20than%20Men.html

Posted in Kenya | Tagged: , , | 23 Comments »