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Archive for February 21st, 2010

Why not uproot carpets and toilet seats from JKIA before Raila lands?

Posted by jambonewspot on February 21, 2010

By KWAMCHETSI MAKOKHA

Raila Odinga does not get it. After the welcome extended to him to join government, purely on humanitarian grounds, he insists on throwing his weight around despite losing the presidential election with such a huge margin.

Nothing illustrates this humanitarianism better than recent findings of the election courts, which so far suggest more drastic but plausible methods of altering poll outcomes to place them beyond contestation.

You could burn the ballots, lose them, misallocate the numbers or even cancel results from unfavourable polling areas.

Instead of declaring that President Kibaki beat Raila by a meagre 226,302 votes, why, the Electoral Commission of Kenya (miss you guys!) could just have added a miserable zero to the number, and the result would still be believable.

As Prime Minister, Raila Odinga arrived expecting everyone to love him. Therefore, when he first showed up expecting to squeeze into the presidential chair, the government had to put him in his rightful place — behind the Vice- President and minister for Home Affairs — where he has stuck like glue.

Another misconception the Prime Minister had to be cured of was that his nusu mkate (half-loaf) powers allowed him to appoint permanent secretaries, ambassadors and directors of State corporations.

The power sharing deal was about cutting the breakfast loaf into two, not divvying up the cereal, margarine, sausages and eggs. That argument was, mercifully, ended by the President’s strength of character alone. Keep doing the same thing until you get it right.

Introducing a total stranger to government can create shock and even breed resentment in the Civil Service.

As part of anger management, it was necessary to encourage public servants to treat the Prime Minister with just a little contempt. For example, it did not hurt to have the Head of Public Service contradict him twice a week.

Get the Government spokesman to nettle him with his weekly statement to the public, and some provincial commissioner to lay half a carpet on the podium when the Prime Minister goes visiting.

If he says there will be police reform, have the police commissioner and the minister for security say the police was not in need of reforms. If the PM suggested that it was lawful to hold a demonstration, ban it and crush those who defy the ban with bullets and tear gas.

It has even come to being personal, such as when the Prime Minister was summoned to the President’s private suit at Kilaguni to converse with His Excellency through a shower curtain, if only to teach him some humility. He missed the event, together with the lesson.

Abroad, the Prime Minister has tried to use his extensive extended family to meet world leaders and been discouraged by the Ministry of Foreign Affairs, as happened when he tried to officially meet US President Barack Obama.

Matters were not helped by the fact that all this time, the Prime Minister would stare at Head of Public Service Francis Muthaura’s greying head and imagine replacing him with a crop of all-black kinked hair.

Then, in his short life as Prime Minister, Mr Raila Odinga has come so close to writing the bestseller, How to Lose Friends and Annoy People.

There is no virtue in taking a toilet break as soon as the sale of the Grand Regency Hotel starts giving off an odorous whiff, then leaving then Finance minister Amos Kimunya to face Parliament alone.

There is no honour in insisting on justice for the victims of post-election violence when it is clear some of the people in your party are top on the list of suspected masterminds, financiers and perpetrators of crimes in that crisis.

There is no valour in extending yourself on the reclamation of the Mau Complex by threatening the property holdings of the very people who financed your presidential campaign.

There is no wisdom in sacrificing friends and political allies in the war against corruption. It has never brought anyone anything but misery and opprobrium.

Ask John Githongo, who spent two years whispering corruption things into President Kibaki’s ear. He had to go into hiding in exile for that.

THE PM MUST KNEEL BEFORE THE President, beg pardon and ask him very politely: Mzee, don’t you think Ongeri has too much grey hair, a thing that even you with your wisdom do not have?

See, I have dyed my moustache and in order to present an image of youth, you should let the guy go.

Tomorrow, Ongeri would be home in the public interest. Ruto has an angular face, which generally does not lend itself to television. Let him go, too.

Even after these numerous pointed hints and suggestions that the Prime Minister is extra baggage in a government that was already complete, up and running even as he screamed for help from the world, he does not get it.

Suspending ministers over corruption allegations under the pretext of supervising them is sheer chicanery. There is no place for cheek in government, which is why the President did not take a day to reverse that nonsense.

Another person would have taken the cue, packed his bags and left, but not the Prime Minister. Perhaps the only way to get to him is to withdraw all the carpets and toilets from Jomo Kenyatta International Airport ahead of his return from Japan.

May be he might get it, finally.

kwamchetsi@formandcontent.co.ke

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Is this Esther’s Hell On Earth?

Posted by jambonewspot on February 21, 2010

Quincy Timberlake aka Fizzle Dogg

Quincy Timberlake aka Fizzle Dogg

When Esther Arunga walked into the press conference room on Thursday to set the record straight, she was a new woman.

The humble and sweet face that united Kenyans in loving her was gone and, in its place, was a blank stare. The sweet voice that wooed us all to watch the news religiously was no more. A more aggressive, almost combatant voice, had taken residence instead.

She wore a look that loudly exclaimed: “Good girl gone”.

For someone who viciously protected her private life, Esther Arunga was sparing no words to express her disappointment with what she described as ‘‘stupid journalism’’ and garbage reporting.

Full of contempt, Arunga, dressed in all black, could not explain why she chose to live with a married man in his house while she could afford to live comfortably on her own.

“I am almost 30 and I can live wherever I want,” she said spinning her neck.

Some questions she did not even have to answer. “That’s a stupid question,’’ she shot back.

The irony was that one of the most notable faces on television was talking trash about the media in general which she was a part of until a week ago and quit because “I wasn’t being paid enough.”

But she contradicted herself severally, telling the media that she quit because of a low salary but later saying she will sue the media but not for financial gain. 

“You can keep your money,” she yelled.

Nobody knows how much money she is making by being the director of Hellon’s music company which handles all of his live performances to make her quit her job.

But, once in a while, the girl that Kenyans came to love would jump from behind the stern look and smile or say something but this would be hurled back to where it came from.

As Hellon talked, she agreed to every word he said while his wife was seated next to him silent only smiling occasionally.

The moment of the week came when she went hard on her ex-fiancé, Wilson Malaba, whom she accused of cheating on her and not having his finances in order.

Two cancelled wedding ceremonies in one year. Arunga said her first wedding was affected by long distance and, of course, the most recent one was because of infidelity. She called off both weddings.

Asked whether it was true Hellon had, through his spiritual dad in the US (said to be Benny Hinn) given her someone to love, she said “Not true” and changed the subject.

As for Hellon, he was not offended by all the negative publicity about his church or dealings with Arunga. He said the media had helped him launch his political career.

“No news is bad news,” he told a packed press conference and in what can only be said to be a brilliant way to divert all the attention, he decided to announce his candidature for the 2012 presidency with Esther as his running mate.

That statement caught her by surprise but she played along well.

Asked why he was not fazed by all the publicity, Hellon said: “I want to lead a country of 40 million people, so such a small story cannot scare me.”

Esther has since deleted her facebook account.

Enter Wilson Malaba, the man at the centre of it all – Esther’s ex-fiancé.

Although he won’t admit it, Wilson Malaba is a very distraught man. Up until Sunday, February 7, it was all systems go for the couple’s wedding plans.

In fact, on that Sunday, Wilson’s family visited the Arunga family at their home in Kileleshwa to firm up the plans.

The following day (February 8), they spent most of the afternoon together at his office from where Arunga left to read the news on KTN at around 7 p.m.

“From that point everything was okay until the following evening when I started receiving SMSs from Hellon about how I killed his child, how I was planning to kill Esther in a road accident, and my expulsion from the church,” said Wilson.

He tried to call Esther but she wouldn’t answer his calls or reply to his SMSs. The only one that came from her was the one breaking their engagement, saying it was from guidance from Esther’s spiritual father (Hellon).

She also accused him of having a wife and two children in South B estate.

“The accusations of killing someone or plotting to kill my fiancee were very disturbing and that is why I decided to inform the authorities,” says Wilson.

Wilson also denies having any children and even offers to put up a paid newspaper advert asking anyone who has his child to come out in public.

“It’s all totally false and I am willing to go the entire length including the advert and doing DNA tests to prove that I have not fathered any child,” he said with an anger laden voice.

Wilson was at the Kilimani Police Station when Hellon was brought in to record a statement. With Hellon were Esther Arunga and Quincy Timberlake.

Wilson says that Esther refused to talk to him. Hellon was arraigned in a Kibera court and was released on a cash bail of Sh20,000.

Since then, Esther has refused to leave Hellon’s house in Runda and only appeared in public at the press conference on Thursday. According to Wilson, she wasn’t even accessible to her parents who have been very worried about her.

Wilson and Esther met in early 2008 but at that time, Esther was engaged to someone else, a pilot. However, it was only after Arunga broke her engagement with the pilot in October of 2008 when she and Wilson became an item.

At the time of their meeting, Esther Arunga was already a member of the Finger of God Ministries International – the church in question.

“It is Esther who persuaded me to join and I did so in May last year,” he recalls.

Wilson was already a pastor, ordained at the Redeemed Gospel Church, although he was not actively preaching. Naturally, he found it easy to join the church leadership when invited to do so by Hellon.

“Everything was fine and there was nothing out of the ordinary until some guy called Quincy Timberlake joined,” recalls Wilson.

The official word at the time, and what Hellon repeated at the press conference, was that Quincy was Hellon’s childhood friend who had just returned from the UK and was back to do music with Hellon and help him run the church.

Later it emerged that Quincy was actually sent by famous televangelist Benny Hinn to help Hellon with the ministry.

According to Wilson, Hellon is not a bad person but has been deceived by Quincy who claims to be a go-between between Hellon and ‘‘Benny Hinn’’.

Emails purported to be conversations between ‘‘Benny Hinn’’ and Hellon, and which have been seen by Buzz, appear to be a conversation between the two.

From the emails, it appears as though Pastor Hinn was giving daily advice to Hellon including advising Hellon against Wilson and Esther’s marriage.

Instead, in one of the emails, Pastor Hinn advises Esther to marry Quincy.

According to Wilson, he got the emails from a former member of the church who was fired by Hellon when she complained about his association with the women staying in his house.

The lady in question happened to have had Hellon’s password and is willing to stand by the allegations in public. We have since established the identity of the lady but nothing different has come forth.

At the press conference, however, Hellon rubbished the authenticity of the emails branding them ‘‘fake’’ and being used to tarnish his name and that of the organisation.

He says that Pastor Hinn has been his spiritual father since 1996.

On Friday, a Nairobi newspaper reported that ‘‘Benny Hinn’’ had denied knowledge of Hellon or even his ministry.

Also, it has to be noted that opening an email in someone’s name is very easy and someone could have easily opened an email account pretending to be Hinn.

So, did Hellon believe that he was talking to the real Hinn when it could have been someone with the fake email even next door to him?

“That’s possible and I want to insist that Hellon could have been deceived,” adds Wilson.

The ogre in all this is one Quincy Timberlake aka Fizzle Dogg.

His identity is closely guarded and even those who know him are unwilling to divulge information. Buzz learnt that this is the same man who had in 2003 walked into Ogopa Dj offices claiming to be a South African national interested in a collabo with K-Rupt.

Several weeks into the deal, sources say, his dealings became dodgy and Ogopa suspended any further association with the “big name from SA asking K-Rupt to relook the arrangement.

Weeks later K-Rupt died and Fizzle Dogg vanished.

Kiss FM’s Shaffie Weru remembers the artiste but says he was too inconsistent to be believed, “if he is the same guy then I wouldn’t take him seriously,” says Shaffie; “He could do anything to become famous.”

One time entertainment journalist Dan Teng’o vaguely remembers the artiste but cannot recognise him now.

Who exactly is Quincy?

Why is he the man, according to the emails, better placed to marry Esther? Is Hellon too gullible to recognise the tell- tale signs of a con game?

An anonymous source told Buzz that Quincy is indeed a Kenyan national. A car sale deal transacted in 2003 places Quincy’s identity in question.

If he came back to Kenya only last December, why is it that he lived in Golden Gate, South B, in 2003 driving a Mitsubishi Lancer bought locally.

Why is it that every communication he has with the supposed ‘‘Benny Hinn’’ is on g-mail or text? Why is it that on the official website of all the celebs he says he has dated and courted, no one knows him?

Event organiser Big Kev says Quincy is the cause of all the grief but adds that he has never met him even though True Blaq entertainment has his questionable profile alongside that of K-Rupt on their site.

Wilson Malaba says Quincy is the problem but does not have a picture of him and has never met him.

Who is saying the truth? By the time of going to press Buzz had conclusively unwrapped the mystery that is Quincy. He is not what he wants people to believe he is.

He is the same wannabe who has lived and played with Lingala musicians locally.

Senior pastors at Benny Hinn’s crusade in Kampala have confirmed that Bishop Arthur Kitonga is their official contact in Kenya. What happens to the angel and the Saxophonist?

Reporting by Philip Mwaniki, TKB, John Muchiri and Adhyambo Odera
buzz@nation.co.ke

Posted in Features | 4 Comments »

Police arrest Arunga, Hellon

Posted by jambonewspot on February 21, 2010

Activities of the controversial Finger of God church are under investigation as police question some of its members including former TV presenter Esther Arunga.

She was on Sunday arrested alongside the church’s head pastor Joseph Hellon and eight other followers in a night raid at his home in Nairobi’s Runda estate.

They were questioned at the Criminal Investigations Department (CID) headquarters after spending the night at separate police stations.

Ms Arunga was held at the Muthaiga station with four others including two secondary school students. The others were held at the Gigiri police station.

They were arrested on allegations of belonging to an illegal group, but their lawyer Harun Ndubi said the church is registered. Police spokesman Eric Kiraithe said detectives were investigating “serious allegations.”

Investigations began after a former member of the church, Wilson Malaba, reported at the Kilimani police station claiming he had received text messages alleging he had killed Hellon’s child and planned to kill Esther. Hellon was charged at Kibera law courts and was released on a cash bail of Sh 20,000.

Kasarani police commander Leonard Omolo on Sunday told journalists they would be released after investigations cleared them. “Their statements will be recorded at the CID headquarters and if no criminal offence is established then they will be set free,” he said.

Ms Arunga’s parents turned up at the Muthaiga station but declined to speak to journalists.

The saga surrounding the church has recently been in the news and Ms Arunga held a press conference last Thursday to set the record straight. She revealed having quit her job with KTN, called off her planned wedding to Mr Malaba and was now living in the church mansion with Mr Helon and his wife Kuyu and other followers.

She also denied that she had shut her family and friends out of her life, although her parents and siblings expressed concern over her well-being. At the press conference, Mr Hellon also revealed that police had visited the residence to investigate claims that he was a drug dealer and a pimp running a cult.

In a separate conversation with the Nation, Mr Malaba claimed that the wedding was called off after Ms Arunga was told by church officials that a famous American evangelist had identified somebody else for her.

-Daily Nation

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No, it’s not easy to write about ‘magical’ Kenya

Posted by jambonewspot on February 21, 2010

By Rasnah Warah

ON VALENTINE’S DAY, I received a message that made me want to cry. No, the message was not a declaration of undying love. It was a news flash stating that President Kibaki had reinstated William Ruto and Sam Ongeri as ministers, hours after his own prime minister had called a press conference to announce they had been suspended.

This is the sad reality of Kenya. Even on a day that is meant to celebrate love and all good things, we were forced to think about the shenanigans of our politicians. That evening, like many Kenyans, my husband and I spent the night of Valentine’s Day discussing whether we loved this country enough to fight for it, or whether we should just retreat into our own tiny little worlds — and hope that the pain would one day go away.

There was a feeling of déjà vu that day. It reminded me of December 30, 2007, when Kenyans woke up believing that they had finally slain the dragon of impunity and that a fairly elected president would lead a government committed to the people of Kenya. But that was not to be.

The election was botched and before the day was over, Kenya was in mourning. New Year’s Day in many homes was marked by mass funerals and psychological trauma. Most Kenyans, including myself, believed that Kenya was on the verge of becoming a failed state. Two years later, I still believe we are not completely out of the woods.

Many may think that I am being overly pessimistic. In fact, some of my readers have told me that I should be more positive and talk about all the good things that are happening in the country instead of focusing only on the negative. The argument they present generally goes like this:

We may have had some glitches in the past, but our economy is on the verge of taking off, our infrastructure is improving, arts and cultural activities are flourishing, and to top it all, the country is scenic and beautiful.

This sentiment was also expressed in a column last week by literary critic Chris Wanjala, a man I admire for his unswerving commitment to promoting Kenyan literature, who wondered why Kenyan writers fail to capture the beauty and magic of Kenya in their writings, and why this task is left to foreign writers.

Wanjala claims that Kenyan writers can do wonders for the tourism sector by writing about the country’s wonderful culture, climate, and natural heritage instead of focusing on problems such as post-election violence, IDPs and poverty.

In other words he wants Kenyans to write about things that fascinated the likes of Karen Blixen and Elspeth Huxley, who wrote about exotic Africa where the locals feature either as part of breathtakingly beautiful landscapes or are servants. Despite its inherent literary merits, much of this literature is today being dismissed as racist.

Besides, as Blixen herself noted, the discovery of a new place is fodder for any writer. She wrote: “The discovery of the dark races was to me a magnificent enlargement of all my world.” It is the unfamiliar, not the familiar, that inspires most writers.

More importantly, depending on which economic strata of society you belong to, it is difficult for many Kenyans to experience the magic of Kenya simply because they are too hungry, too desperate, and too downtrodden to marvel at the beauty of a scarlet sunset dipping into the Indian Ocean or a herd of gazelle dancing across a savannah.

How is it possible for a writer to write about the magic of Kenya when the world around her is crumbling? Some of the most stunningly beautiful places on this planet (Afghanistan comes to mind) also harbour some of the world’s most oppressed and scarred people. I can pretend that what is happening in Nairobi will not touch my life, but I would be lying to myself. If Kenya burns, we will all feel the heat, regardless of income or social status.

I am finding it increasingly difficult to write about anything except politics and the economy because every week, another scandal erupts, reminding Kenyans that corruption, impunity, and total indifference on the part of the political elite have come to define our country and that every shilling that ends up in the pocket of a politician or civil servant could have helped a parent enrol a child in school or buy maize meal for a family.

One would think that these difficult times would have by now given birth to what could be called “the Kenyan protest novel”. But on even that count, Kenyan writers have failed.

rasna.warah@gmail.com

-As posted in the Daily Nation

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