By OLESI NYAMORI

Recently, while chatting with a group of friends, the conversation turned to a recent newspaper article where the writer talked about jobseekers who peruse the obituary pages – not because they feel sorry for those who had passed on and the families they left behind.

According to the writer, these pages serve as a forum for job seekers to know who has left a vacancy! It all sounded like a sick joke until one of the girls commented that there was yet another set of people who bought the newspapers because of these same pages.

That is when I decided to give the pages some attention.

I literally scrutinised the adverts for several days to find out whether what my friends had observed was true. The thought didn’t cross my mind again until another friend, quite different from the first one, mentioned something rather curious about ‘the album’ as the obituaries are sometimes referred to.

It seems quite a well-known fact that for some women, this is the place to find a husband. No matter how morbid this may sound, there are woman out there who look for love in the most unlikely places.

This special breed of woman views the death pages as a handy and accessible husband finding resource.

She will peruse the obituaries looking for ‘interesting’ widowers like other women stake out churches looking for men of God, or like those who turn to the internet looking for men of the moment.

They pounce just when the bereaved man is at his most vulnerable. This is how it goes: The woman quickly scans the death announcement for times and locations of the funeral meetings.

If she’s lucky, the meetings will be held at the man’s home. If she’s luckier, that home will be in one of Nairobi’s ‘leafy suburbs’ or some posh location.’

She will then begin attending the meetings, presumably to condole with the man and his family, but really the main aim is to wind herself insidiously into the fabric of the man’s world.

But here’s the kicker. The most lethal of these women are not strangers to the home. The ones most likely to get a foot in the door will usually have been good friends of the deceased. Perhaps even her relatives.

Her cousins. Her sisters. Women who are not new to the home. Women who are trusted by the man and his children.

They are the ones who meet the family at the door, hours after the wife and mother has passed away, wailing like their lives depended on it. Displaying grief that would appear to be even more genuine than the bereaved themselves.

This is the kind of woman you will find at the centre of funeral proceedings, making the teas, clearing tables, washing dishes and generally being a very helpful little foot soldier.

In the evenings, when the house has quieted down, and the man is alone and desolate, surrounded by little more than his grief and a few relatives from the village, she will fuss over him making sure he has eaten and that the house is running properly.

Being a close friend of the family or relative, this may not look out of place in the circumstances. She tolerates his need to speak endlessly about his departed wife, offering him a willing ear.

Her ultimate aim is to fill the void his wife has left before he gets his wits about him and either decides to remain single or to marry a woman more suitable. She needs to get in there before others of her ilk begin the hunt.

Nabbing a man during the funeral period is expedient because a woman will already have her foot in the door by the time many others even realise that he is single again.

More often than not, this calculating woman has been hanging about trying to make herself useful if the deceased was ailing, more or less like a wife and mother in waiting.

Nerima lost her mother three years ago and she recalls with distaste a certain aunty who was the picture of sweetness and light while her mother was ill.

“She would come and pray with Mum all the time. She was always around, massaging Mum’s feet, cooking special dishes and generally fussing over her.

Aunt Penina* would always be the last one around even when Mum was sleeping. There was even a period when she stayed with us for a while.

“Late at night, she would sit up with Dad, chatting and preaching about the healing power of prayer and how her ‘sister’ would be fine.

“She’s a nurse by profession, so she was a handy person to have around because she had some medical training and there were times when Mum was so badly off that all of us would be afraid to touch her in case we made it worse.”

Aunt Penina became a fixture in Nerima’s home, transitioning easily from the months when Nerima’s mother was ill into the mourning period after she passed on. Even when we went to the village to bury mum, she was the person who all other mourners referred to for direction.

“Even then,” Nerima says, “I just thought she was going out of her way to comfort us because Aunt Penina and Mum were very close. It was only when she started haggling over Mum’s personal possessions that I began to get a bit suspicious. The next thing we knew, we got a message from the other aunties proposing Aunt Penina as Dad’s new wife. I couldn’t believe my ears.”

And Aunt Penina would have managed to foist herself on the bereaved family where it not for the fact that Nerima’s father was too saddened by the demise of his wife to start thinking about getting a new one. The way Nerima tells it, he was not ready to let go of the memories.

But other women have succeeded where Aunt Penina failed. Over an 18-month period, Jennifer and her family were caught up in a vortex of sickness and disease that ultimately claimed their mother’s life.

“That year and a half is like a blur. From the moment we learned that Mum had cancer, our lives changed and life has never been the same again,” she says.

“And even before the dust has settled, we now have to deal with the evil stepmother.” Just like Aunt Penina, Jennifer’s mum’s good friend Njoki , who was a neighbour a rock for the family during her illness and after her demise.

“She became a de facto mummy, taking care of my little twin sisters and making sure that we didn’t lack for anything as a family. At the time when mum was ill, the last thing on our minds was ourselves.

Njoki made sure that we didn’t sink completely into depression. Dad was a mess, so she took over, literally running our house.

She would drop by to bring fruits and vegetables which she knew our mum used to love buying, deal with the househelp when there was a problem and even occasionally take my young sisters to her house to play with her children who were more or less the same age.

Before long, we were all running to her whenever we had an issue to resolve, dad included. I guess by caring for us, she was caring for him too.” The family was grateful to her.

But what the children didn’t realise was that Dad was perhaps more grateful to her than all of them put together. Njoki was so much like his wife – they had been friends for so many years – that it was easy to see her playing that role for life.

“About nine months after we buried mum, Dad announced that he was going to marry Njoki. My brother and I were shocked at this turn of events and even felt dad was betraying our mum by marrying her friend, but the twins had gotten so used to her.

I think they were beginning to see her as their mother. Anyway, to cut a long story short, my brother and I haven’t spoken to Dad since her married her. In fact we didn’t attend the wedding. Dad and Njoki live with the twins but Joshua (my brother) and I moved out.”

As with all things, there are often several spanners in the works when it comes to issues of re-marriage. Widowers will come with baggage that they have been packing for the better part of their lives.

They’ve been married. They have kids, sometimes grown children. They are for the most part, pretty set in their ways. The quintessential ‘old dog, new tricks’ scenario.

Fitting into an older man’s life is not as simple for a woman as she might imagine. Especially if he is a widower because widowers come as a package – the man himself, the lingering memories of his wife, his lifelong habits and perhaps most importantly, his children.

What women fail to acknowledge is that when a matriarch departs, her seat is not left empty for long. It is quickly filled by her children as they gather around the King.

Children, especially girl children, are the first to witness the vulnerability of the leader of their home and while it may not be obvious to many, they stand guard, well prepared to repel what they believe are ill-intentioned advances from women who do not meet the standard set by their mother.

A man’s grown children will not take kindly to interlopers who shoulder themselves into the heart of the family intending to seat themselves on the throne. No one will ever be as good as their mother; they can only hope to come close. And even that is not an easy task to meet.

As Ruth puts it, “For my sisters and I, our mother could do no wrong. She knew my Dad in and out having been married to him for more than 40 years. Which other woman can take care of him the way she did?

We are not opposed to Dad getting married again but we won’t sit by and watch as some gold digger tries to take her place just so she can get her hands on our property!”

Ruth, her brother and four sisters are all grown and together they have made sure that their father recovers from the death of his wife.

“We want Dad to be happy but mum just passed on six months ago. He’s not in the right state of mind to decide on a new wife. Yes, we realise that he is lonely and misses having a woman around but we have resolved as his children to be there for him until we think he is ready to move on.

Some of our relatives think we should not be involved in such matters but we think the closest family should come first in situations like these.”

Children aside, some women will imagine that a man is wealthier than he actually is. Half page, full colour obituaries are not a true indicator of a man’s wealth. Neither is his area code.

During a funeral, many genuine well wishers congregate to assist. A lot of that assistance is in monetary form. So a man may be flush with cash over the funeral period but that doesn’t necessarily mean he has millions in the bank.

Even if he does, perhaps he’s not the type to dole it out to a woman whose only goal is to live life in a manner to which she is not accustomed. He will also have picked up certain habits over his time.

Everything he does, he has done for years…and years. This man is not for turning. What he wants is a woman who can live with him, not a woman who wants to change him.

And perhaps therein lies the money maker. The quid pro quo. The man offers financial security and social standing and the woman agrees to take him as he is, matured warts and all. Sounds perfect on paper but in real life, it isn’t long before a new woman wants to mould an old man.

But it’s not all doom and gloom for women and widowers. It all comes down to intention. If you’re after a man for his money or social standin, you really ought to be satisfied if money is all that you get.

However, if two people come together out of genuine attraction, mutual respect and a nurtured and nurturing love, then who knows? The woman may have found a love that will last her a lifetime and the man might get to live happily ever after…again.

But you know what they say, lightning rarely strikes the same place twice and even when it does, it is an act of God, not the result of feminine guile and manipulation.

satmag@nation.co.ke

By HANNINGTON OCHWADA

Maurice Amutabi’s novel, Because of Honor is a work of fiction set somewhere on the Kenyan Coast, focusing on the life of Amina, a young Muslim girl.

Amina and her family live in Chelani village where her life is characterised by intrigue and conflict with her family and later society at large.

Early in life, Amina negins to wish she could be freed from the shackles of religion and patriarchy, which have imposed female genital mutilation, forced and arranged marriages and deny girls the right to education.

She learns that going contrary to society expectations, her family included, results in honour killing, which she witnessed and traumatised her.

Amina nevertheless chooses to reject the existing order, setting herself on a collision course with her father, elders and society.

Knowing that her rebellion will mark her for life, she decides to escape and ends up in Mombasa, where she completes high school and goes to college, imagining that her dream at last has come true.

She soon however realises that her struggle has just begun.

Born a Muslim in a world not controlled by secular law but by Islamic law, she must behave and act as a Muslim woman is expected to.

The author is very descriptive and the characters, topography and social activities leave no doubt that the book is set in Africa.

The story commences and ends in Africa without belabouring the post-modern ambivalence, ambiguities and intellectual voyeurism that attend many novels in Africa where Europe and North America must be featured in order for the plot to appear to be intricate and the story fashionable and relevant.

Amina’s life provides the reader with invaluable insights into how Islam has evolved in East Africa.

For instance, the narrative successfully tackles the thorny issues of marriage, female genital mutilation and the vestiges of patriarchy in society.

Using a clear narrative and humorous style, Amutabi incisively and pointedly analyses historical conditions forced on women by faithful allegiance to religion and tradition.

The book also provides an extended commentary on the passive role of the government, leaving anachronistic tendencies to curtail women’s rights.

The book is insightful for readers who are interested in indigenous cultural encounters with Islam in East Africa.

Amutabi ably uses history in his fictional exploration of the impact of Islam in Africa in a uniquely personal way that most novels seem to gloss over.

It is important to state that some readers will perceive Because of Honour as an engagement in some kind of sardonic lampooning of Islam.

But the novel is well researched and contains enough accurate historical facts to be characterised as a great historical novel.

Characterisation

The balance between female and male characters is very engaging.

Of the many characters in the novel, there is Isa and Chiku Babu, Amina’s parents who have over 10 children.

Indeed, the success of any work of fiction that features numerous characters like Because of Honor, depends on the author’s ability to develop the main characters, a task that Amutabi successfully accomplishes.

It is also imperative in a problem-set novel such as this, to constitute some form of solution or to arrive at a resolution in which the seemingly contrasting factions lead to a meaningful closing.

As the novel comes to a conclusion, Amina calls for a need to rethink and purge Islam of anachronisms.

She also calls for a renegotiation between women and Islam.

For example, as her father lies on his deathbed, Amina and her siblings ask for a new beginning in social relations.

Amina says, “Finally what I want is to invite all of you to join me in a serious interrogation of society in general, especially what can be done to make us live together as humans without seeking to perceive others through the prism of male and female dichotomies, and other identities that bring about tension.”

She also seems to reconcile with her father when she says, “Isa Babu is a hero. I choose to remember the good memories I have of him.”

Although already a vegetable and near his death, Isa Babu surprises everyone by asking his children for forgiveness.

He says, “I have listened to you [my children] the whole evening. I am really sorry for everything [that I did to you].” This statement is a form of resolution, and closure.

For a Muslim man to ask his children for forgiveness is metaphorically and symbolically significant.

The novel’s dramatic conclusion with the death of Chiku and Isa Babu provides a strong example of how religion can make or unmake families; create happiness or sadness.

Their death could also be symbolic and metaphorical to mean the end of an old order and the beginning of a new one.

Because of Honour would benefit everyone, especially students and teachers of African history, culture, religious studies, sociology, anthropology, Islam, gender and women studies.

It provides the reader with an understanding of what goes on behind closed doors in ordinary Islamic homes.

It also equips one with knowledge of the power of religion in undermining and bringing about positive social change in communities.

-The East African

Nairobi — Thousands of last year’s KCSE examination candidates quietly watched from the sidelines as their A-grade colleagues celebrated good results with song and dance on Tuesday. They scored average grades, but will this be the end of the road for them? Is there hope that these youngsters will one day be great men and women despite scoring average, or even poor grades?

Can a person who never set foot in a secondary school make it in life? Can a person who sat his secondary school examinations as a private candidate ever rise to the top? To find the answer to this question, one needs to look no further than the embattled permanent secretary in the Ministry of Education, Prof Karega Mutahi.

The professor, who says his greatest weakness is impatience, never set foot in a secondary school classroom. He does not know his fate over the free education funds scandal, but he knows he has come a long way. After struggling through primary school, where at one point he was forced to repeat classes, young Karega registered for Form Four examinations as a private candidate, scoring a Division Two, the equivalent of grade B-minus in the 8-4-4 system.

The Saturday Nation had a one-on-one interview with Prof Mutahi, whose profile sends a message of hope to young Kenyans so often dismissed as average performers. Starting out as an untrained primary school teacher after his primary education, he rose through the ranks to become the chief executive of the ministry with the biggest budgetary allocation.

Extreme poverty and an absentee father saw him miss out on his secondary school. “I never went to any high school. In fact, in primary school, I had to repeat Class Eight,” confessed the embattled PS. He sat his Certificate of Primary Education in 1963 and scored an A in English, a B in mathematics, and a D in general paper.

He had no hope of ever going to secondary school, so he went to look for a job. Using his CPE certificate, he worked for one year as an untrained teacher at Kiru Primary School in Murang’a District. His lucky break came when Kigari Teachers Training College started offering basic teaching skills to promising Class Eight leavers, which saw him enrol for the lowest cadre of training.

While at Kigari, he enrolled for the Kenya English Test, which allowed him to sit the Kenya Junior Secondary Examination (KJSE), then administered at Form Two level. He was then a teacher in Thika. He passed KJSE and proceeded to enrol for his O-level examinations in 1967.

He scored a Second Division, then again enrolled for A-level examinations in 1968, which he also passed with one principle and two subsidiaries. He then sat for the mature age entrance examination, then administered by the University of East Africa, and passed, allowing him to gain admission to the University of Nairobi in 1973.

He studied for a Bachelor of Arts in linguistics and political science. Determined to scale all obstacles, he now holds a Master of Arts in linguistics from the University of California in Los Angeles (UCLA) and a Doctor of Philosophy (PhD) in linguistics from the University of Nairobi, which he was awarded in 1978.

The boy from Murang’a, who never stepped into a secondary school classroom, has headed five other ministries besides the Ministry of Education. He has been head of the ministries of Agriculture, Livestock Development and Marketing, Office of the Vice President, and Planning and National Development. Others are Research, Technical Training and Applied Technology, and Reclamation and Development of Arid, Semi-Arid and Wastelands.

Always the scholar, he also has 19 publications to his name, not to mention 29 conference papers, a long line of local and international awards, including the Order of the Chief of Burning Spear. His other awards are the University of California’s Exchange Programme Award, Nuffield Visiting Scholar Award from the University of York, the DAAD Visiting Scholar Award from the University of Cologne, Germany, and the Elder of The Order of The Burning Spear (EBS).

Another example of an average performer who is on the way to the top is Dr John Kihoro, a mathematics lecturer at Jomo Kenyatta University of Agriculture and Technology. His name, too, was not anywhere in the newspapers when the 1989 KCSE results were announced.

This was because he scored a mean grade of B-minus in a small ill-equipped day school that residents of his home area of Othaya, Nyeri, regarded as a dumping ground for boys and girls who were not bright enough to join the more prestigious national and provincial schools.

“It did not even have a laboratory. We had to walk to the nearest “big school” to see a microscope for the first time. Villagers used to crack crude jokes about our school. They regarded us as failures,” recounts Dr Kihoro. He barely escaped the vicious cycle of failure that many average performers in KCPE and KCSE fall into.

“They score average grades in KCPE and KCSE, or drop out before the examinations mostly due to lack of school fees, get into child labour, start experimenting with drugs and alcohol before slowly edging into crime.

“I would have been a crime statistic in Central Province if a complete stranger had not intervened to get me back to school,” says Dr Kihoro. He scraped through eight years of primary school, scoring 49 points out of 72 in 1985. This translates to around 360 out of the total 600 marks.

And after only two terms in the village day secondary school, the school fees taps ran dry and young Kihoro found himself out of class, doing manual jobs at the nearby trading centre. After spending months out of school, Kihoro got a small break, through a Japanese volunteer teacher in the school — Takanobu Kuroda, of the Japanese International Cooperation Agency (JICA).

The volunteer mathematics teacher noticed that one of his students had quietly disappeared from school for a large part of the third term and rode his motorbike to young Kihoro’s poverty-ravaged homestead to find out why he was not attending class. And in stuttering Kiswahili, which his young student interpreted to his parents, the stranger offered to clear the school fees balance on one condition: that the boy abandon his casual jobs and went back to class the following day.

Still, it was not easy catching up with the rest of his classmates, but Kihoro managed a mean grade of B-minus in the “school for fools.” And as his classmates were admitted to such high-rated degree courses as medicine and law, Kihoro was admitted to Kenyatta University for the less prestigious Bachelor of Science degree.

Not one to give up, he proceeded to earn a first class honours degree before proceeding for a doctorate in mathematics at the Jomo Kenyatta University of Technology. It is now 20 years since Dr Kihoro received his “average” KCSE results and the mathematics lecturer is another living testimony that average performers can rise to the top.

–Daily Nation

America’s Declining Moral Fabric

A few days ago Tiger Woods broke his silence and publically announced his partial come back to the game of golf and into the public arena after his seclusion for more than three months. Our idolized athlete created a spectacle by selecting limited media and friends to appear on his 13 minute speech of redemption therapy and appealed to the public to accept him back despite his weaknesses and private affairs with his quorum of mistresses.

Tiger Woods written script goes on to show that he has once again played us. Woods’ speech was but an act that was craftily designed by his publicist.. The sequence of events were, a damaged car, a leaking fire hydrant, smashed rear windows, immediate disappearance, sex therapy from night of incidence, written apologetic statement and tears of “I am sorry I got caught.” All appear to lead to another Hollywood show.

Mr.Woods’ actions leave many of us begging the question if not confused but with a kind heart of giving him a second chance with his mistresses. Well, I suggest that we do all need a second chance but Woods’ drama is just another story that leads me to conclude that the moral fabric of America has truly changed. Gone are the days when marriage without extra-marital affairs was practiced.

Gone are the days when having an affair meant ex-communication from all ways of life for we have ushered a new era of “whatever and who cares.” The focus of live seems to be on me, myself, and I and my mistress. I am what I make myself to be and I am the measure of all life, a logical, sensual and intelligent being. This is the new philosophy but it this right? It is true that the moral fabric of this nation has declined and will continue to decline as we pursue self satisfaction and self glory.

EXHIBIT 1 – TIGER WOODS

Mr. Woods’ scripted speech got him a presidential approach when all the television channels stopped scheduled shows to air his apology and “kind of” sincere speech even though his lifestyle and his golf playing abilities have nothing to do with majority of United States citizens yet everybody stopped to listen to his garbage. Mr. Woods went on to say he was sorry for “getting caught” and has been seeking rehabilitation to normalcy.

By virtue of his actions, Mr. Woods has earned the right to join the wall of shame shared by some other famous men who have been bitten by the bug of power and prestige and mistress hosting habit. Among them are men like Bill Clinton in 1998 with Monica Lewinsky, the charismatic evangelist Jimmy Swaggart, Mark Sanford, the governor of South Carolina with his lovely Argentinean model, John Edwards, the former North Carolina Senator, and Eliot Spitzer, the former New York governor amongst many other powerful men. These men and their confessions are a perfect example of the declining moral gauge of the American nation and the imminent flirtatious danger caused of the beautiful mistresses. Out there are women who are casting their baits to get a piece of the pie by removing their pants for these men with some Benjamins.

EXHIBIT 2 – DAVID LETTERMAN

On October 1, 2009, David Letterman rocked the Late Night Show television scene with a long and winding on-air confession about a series of intra-office affairs that he had been carrying on for years. Letterman revealed little in the way of detail, except to acknowledge that he had been having sexual affairs with women who worked for him on the Late Night Show. Even though Letterman described the behavior as “creepy,” Letterman followed up a few nights later with an apology to his wife Regina, whom he admitted to having been terribly hurt by the shocking news.

The emerging pattern here is one that leads us to conclude that the moral fabric of this nation is declining. Basically these celebrities are asking us to accept them just as they are even though they know what they are doing is wrong. We as spectators are to accept their public apologies and not demand change of lifestyle. After all, they are human beings these celebrities argue.
The amazing factor at Letterman’s show was the response he got from his audience which I think at the beginning might have thought of Letterman’s confession as a joke. But days after the confession, Letterman’s audience and popularity sky rocketed to levels never seen before. Could it be that we as a nation expect to be entertained by their failures? Could it be that we have silenced our moral compasses and have bought to secularization and humanism as a philosophy? Why did the public applaud and celebrate Letterman’s intra-office affairs? Could it be if majority of all men were placed in their positions, they would repeat the same behavior?

To begin with, Letterman’s confession was prompted by the indictment and arrest of Robert Joel Halderman, an Emmy-winning CBS producer, for allegedly blackmailing and extorting Letterman. More specifically, prosecutors say that Halderman asked for two million dollars in exchange for his promise not to sell a screenplay based on Letterman’s escapades.

Media coverage of the scandal turned quickly from Halderman’s conduct to Letterman’s. In particular, many asked, Did Letterman do anything wrong– and, in particular did he do anything illegal by having sex with women in his office who might have been his subordinates? The approach in the question shows that we as a nation have declined in our approach to the matters of life and sexuality. Morality and commitment to marriage is not accepted but the union of a man and a woman is today seen as a contract which can be easily breached. Sexual deviancy is treated as an ailment which needs psychological treatment when caught.

The media seemed happy and waited for every detail to write and broadcast the scandal, while the public empathized with letterman despite his poor ethical and moral practices. As I write this article, the couple are said to be fighting over property and custody of their son Harry. Regina was humiliated and mortified that David carried on sexual relations with a number of his female staffers – including former assistant Stephanie Birkitt.

This is just one of the many examples of how the American popular culture is relating with each other. The basic principles of marriage, life and commitment have been dropped and replaced with the basic principles of Secular humanism and Bertrand Russell’s secular humanist vision from the 1960’s seems to be the new trend. We are the measure of all things. We do as we please and only apologize when our money making ways are at risk.

EXHIBIT 3 – TED HAGGARD

Another incident that reflects the rebellious spirit of secular humanism and how far our moral fabric has disintegrated is the indecent act of the former Pastor of New Life Church, a 45,000 member church and the former resident of the National Association of Evangelicals.

Ted Haggard was exposed as a homosexual by his partner Grant Haas who confessed on CNN’s Larry King Live that he and Tedd had been having homosexual relationship for a long time. On one of the transcripts, Grant Haas says in a videotaped interview played on CNN’s Larry King Live that, Haggard, “pretty much asked me if it was okay if he masturbated in front of me or masturbated in the bed next to me,” Haas is recorded to have said, “I told him no, it would make me really uncomfortable but he grabbed a bottle of lotion and started masturbating.” Haas adds on the tape that, Pastor “Haggard used to say to me, “You know what, Grant, you can become a man of God, and you can have a little bit of fun on the side.”

Haggard, who was 52 at the time, said the incident was “an indicator of the compulsive behavior” that ruled him at the time. However, he confessed that he has been undergoing therapy for his behavior which he does not acknowledge as sinful. The controversy first erupted in November 2006, when a former prostitute, Mike Jones, said the pastor had paid him for sex over three years and had used methamphetamine in his presence. Haggard initially admitted in interviews that he received a massage from Jones but denied having sex with him. He also said he bought the drug methamphetamine, but threw it away instead of using it. I guess it is okay to throw away money by buying stuff that we do not need. What an invalid and stupid argument and defense!

Surprisingly, New Life Church offered Haggard a settlement and Haggard agreed that he would retain his six-figure salary for a year, leave the Colorado Springs area, receive counseling and not speak publicly about what had happened for one year. Go figure! In the CNN interview, Haggard credited Jones with having helped him by disclosing his homosexual behavior.

Haggard said, “I think he rescued me. I am very grateful to him,” He said he would have lost the support of his wife of 30 years, Gail, and their five children “and been a drug addict” HAD HE NOT BEEN CAUGHT. “I paid a heavy price. IT WAS STUPID,” he said. On the interview, Haggard likens his struggles with his desires to the struggles faced by dieters who say, “I am not going to eat today” and then they eat.” Well, where is the confession in this drama?

Where is the Christ-like character that he is supposed to exemplify and possess? Did Haggard preach all these years and talk of the redemptive work of Christ on the cross to his 45,000 member congregation? Did he stand up and preach just for the show and how could he prepare his messages knowing that a congregation looked up to him for spiritual nourishment? Has Bertrand Russell’s philosophy of secular humanism assaulted the spiritual minds of the shepherds of the church as well? If so the mistresses are winning.

Haggard told Larry King that he was “guilty enough of so many things” and acknowledged that his actions were hypocritical, but said he had lost the ability to control his homosexual urges. Without any shame and blinking of the eye, Haggard said on the interview with Larry King that, “I felt like God’s plan was for sexuality to be in a monogamous, heterosexual marriage,” he said. “I wanted that. But at the same time, I had these other things (desires) going on.” Haggard on this interview confessed that he had thought that focusing on his spiritual life would help, but found that it did not. “It actually made me worse,” he said.

Haggard told Larry King that, for a time, he had lost the ability to read the Scriptures and became very suicidal. “I think it was divine intervention that stopped me,” he said. When Larry King asked him if he has engaged in any inappropriate conduct with any other men, Haggard stammered and failed to give a direct answer, saying, “I have thoroughly discussed all of my sexual history with my wife and my therapist and, to some degree, the family, and we think that’s an appropriate boundary for that.”

Asked again whether he considers himself bisexual or gay, Haggard said that different therapists have described him in different ways. “The first said, ‘You are a heterosexual with homosexual attachments.’ I wasn’t sure what that meant.” Ha-ha, ha, ha!!!

His current therapist, he said, described him as “a heterosexual with complications.” What an excellent and a politically correct way to condoning a lifestyle while confusing the client.

But once again, who believes in Christianity and monogamy anymore?

When Larry asked Haggard’s wife of her reaction to the scandal she responded by saying, “I really do love this man.” She said the two had “a great sexual relationship in our marriage…throughout marriage.” She continued to say that “the news of his unfaithfulness came as a shock; it wasn’t completely out of the blue because I knew that Ted had some struggles in this area, particularly in his thoughts but I never knew he acted on them.”

EXHIBIT 4 – ELIOT SPITZER

Another example I would like to reflect and to show how secular humanism is continually assaulting the American nation and thus a sign that the moral fabric of the American nation is in decline is that of New York’s Governor, Eliot Spitzer. New York\’s Daily News, The New York Times, the New York Post and Newsday carried the shocking news of US Governor who had been carrying extra-marital affairs with an international prostitution ring based In New York that charged clients up to 5,500 dollars per hour.

Married for 21 years and the father of three daughters, Spitzer, who was 48 by the time of the scandal was accused of hiring a prostitute from a New Jersey escort service and arranged for her to meet him in the nation’s capital on Feb. 13, 2008 for a fee of $4,300, according to a federal complaint and two lawyers briefed on the case.

Additional reports suggested that Spitzer may have spent as much as $80,000 on prostitutes and other sex escapades. After exposure, Spitzer appeared on national television, saying, “I sincerely apologize,” and announced his resignation during a brief statement delivered on a Wednesday morning from his downtown Manhattan office.
Spitzer said, “I am deeply sorry I did not live up to what was expected of me,” referring to his “private failings” for which, he also said, “I’ve begun to atone.” What a mess! Spitzer’s announcement followed a stunning two days of revelations about Spitzer’s personal activities. At a press conference with his wife, Silda, at his side, Spitzer said: “I have acted in a way that violates my obligations to my family and violates my–or any–sense of right and wrong.”

What did this mean? He added, I apologize to the public, whom I promised better.” Spitzer’s resignation ended Spitzer’s political career just 16 months after he had been elected New York ’s Democratic governor by a wide margin.

There are other scandals that have happened in the last few years to show that the public has become insensitive to the biblical/religious and traditional values and practices. Secular humanism and Hollywood continues to play a big role of influencing our actions and thought life. Medical companies like Pfizer also continue to send the message that using Viagra and enlarging the male sexual organ makes one a champion.

Some of the most common scandals have included men like former President Bill Clinton with the Monica Lewinsky scandal, Republican Senator Larry Craig of Idaho, who pleaded guilty to a misdemeanor after his arrest in a men’s room sex sting, New Jersey Gov. Jim McGreevey, who resigned after an alleged affair with a male political aide. McGreevey announced that he was gay and immediately started attending an Episcopalian seminary. Secularization and humanism is indeed causing a threat to the growth of evangelicalism and tearing the moral fabric that once held the moral principles and values of this nation. Secularization and Hollywood/Evilwood is intellectually, ethically, socially and morally assaulting the American moral fabric.

Dr. Joseph M. Onesimus

Source: Kim Media Group

Researchers agree that genes do indeed play a part in obesity, but there are a myriad other controllable factors. Photo/FILE

By Kiruri Kamau

A friend of mine once told me of a conversation he overheard one evening between two young chaps who, he surmised by everything about them, were heading home to a nearby slum after a hard day’s work.

David, idle at the moment and tuned to every city sound around him, was standing outside a building from where an aerobic class was being conducted on the second floor amid much sound and fury.

“Those are mafuta mingi trying to get rid of the effects of too much good living,” one of the young people observed with obvious distaste. And should be stringed, I would have added if I were him.

There must be a place in the universe where those who eat the fat of the land, then steal maize meant for the starving poor and then engage in conspicuous consumption are stringed and sprayed with liquid tomato paste; it’s a capital offence. But we live in good old benighted Kenya, a land of contrasts.

The Scots, it appears, have either been eating too much fat, literally, are cursed by their genes or they don’t exercise because obesity, the government says, is now a ticking time bomb, an epidemic.

Her Majesty’s government has raised the red flag and was last week saying that if things don’t start changing soon, 40 per cent of the population of Scotland will be obese by 2030.

The cost to the taxpayer will be upwards of £3 billion pounds, the equivalent of almost Sh400 billion a year, and the cost to production will be incalculable.

For long obesity was blamed on genetic predisposition, which was good comfort if you didn’t want to take responsibility for the way you and your brood lived, ate and looked.

Researchers now largely agree that genes do indeed play a part in obesity but there are a myriad other controllable factors which are more responsible for that tyre around your middle.

The most important of these factors are that you and your family most likely delight in stuffing your faces, don’t sleep enough and do not exercise.

Obesity, it is now widely known, often starts in childhood.

A recent British research established that most children pile much of that excess weight before school age, meaning the problem is usually at home not at school.

Early childhood is most likely due to learned behaviour and environment.

Research has managed to link weight gain to lack of sleep in both children and adults.

One recent survey established that only 12 per cent of children who sleep 10-12 hours every night were obese by the time they were eleven years old.

In comparison obesity among children who slept less than nine hours was twice as much at 22 per cent.

The researchers were completely baffled by the stack difference and started looking for explanations.

One conclusion that they reached was that the children who slept less hours than they should were not rested enough the next morning.

Naturally they felt lethargic and were less likely to go out and play with their peers to use up excess energy.

They were more likely to prefer spending their time seated on the sofa playstation console in hand, a bowl of crisps on the floor before them and a glass of coke at hand to ease the junk down.

And there is no better prescription for bringing up fat lazy kids.

According to A Bristol University research, hormonal changes due to lack of sleep is bad for weight watchers.

If you habitually sleep for five hours or less your body produces 15 per cent more ghrenin, a hormone that increases feelings of hunger, than those who slept at least eight hours.

And it’s double whammy for skimping on sleep because your body will also produce 15 per cent less of appetite-suppressing leptin.

The research also found that if you sleep too little you are more likely to eat calorie-rich sweets and starchy food during the day.

The bottom line is if you don’t learn to nod off, eat right and exercise, well, it’s your funeral.

-Business Daily Africa

By Peter Gaitho

I remember Mr. Maneno, my high school business studies teacher telling me that, the first Kshs. 1 million is the hardest to make, after which money will follow money and before you know it, the blessed will start calling you blessed.

Mr. Maneno wanted to actualize this dream, so he leased 40 acres of land in the fertile Happy Valley, Nyandarua. He planned to plant 250,000 cabbage seedlings in two seasons, so he got himself a Mwalimu SACCO loan on his way to riches. Twenty years later, Mr. Maneno is retiring this year before seeing the color of Kshs. 1 million.

I have been harboring this dream too, so I laid a foolproof business plan that would see me turn from an hourly wage earner to an employer. I have learned some basic investment strategies, read all the Rich Dad Poor Dad books by Robert Kiyosaki, and currently one by Warren Buffet.

Armed with all these, I set out on a journey to my riches several moons ago. All the books I read have one advice in common: in order to make it, you have to do that which you understand, which in my case I thought was farming. My father was a small scale farmer, and as the Waswahili say, mwana wa mhunzi asiposana huvukuta (the son of a welder turns out to be a welder).

Therefore when I visited Jamhuri last season, I met my cousin, Wallace Kahugu, also a big time wheat farmer in Timau area, on the western slopes of Mt. Kenya. This is the person who encouraged me to venture into wheat farming because, as he put it, “watu lazima wale mikate (people will always eat bread)” and the cost of wheat keeps rising, making wheat farmers smile all the way to the bank.

I got myself a well maintained, white Toyota Corona from a hire company along Muindi Mbingu Avenue, Nairobi. “You must create a positive image of yourself,” Wallace had advised.” I took his advice and remembered the slogan “fakes it until you make it.”

After visiting the land in question, we signed the lease at the popular Kungu Maitu Bar and Restaurant in the heart of Nanyuki town. In attendance were Wallace, Mr. Kimemia, his lawyer, and Ole Simani, the landowner.

“I am sure you will not regret the decision to be a wheat farmer,” said Mr. Kimemia, a Nanyuki-based lawyer, as he munched goat ribs, which he washed down with Pilsner Ice. “I have worked with your cousin for many years, and I am sure he will take care of your business while you are away.”

After the sumptuous lunch that no one in the group helped me pay for, we concluded our business and parted. I remained in Nanyuki town for another week and a half, during which, the land was duly tilled, sprayed , and planted.

“All we need now is Mwene Nyaga (the owner of ostriches) to send rain,” said the seed dispersing machinery operator as I paid him his dues.

“The God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob is faithful. I know He will send the required precipitation,” said Wallace, trying to be religious.

“I will be sending money for pesticide and stuff via Western Union,” I said. “In the meantime, here is Kshs. 20,000 for any emergency.” It is funny how a Kikuyu’s mien changes at the sight of an envelope stacked with cash. Wallace’s face would have lit the room if there was a blackout.

A few days later, I was en route to these United States. I quickly settled back to the hustle and bustle that is life here. “You are looking at a soon-to-be millionaire,” I told anyone who cared to listen. “Nitawaacha mkipiga masaa (I will soon leave you guys clocking in donkey hours here).”

I kept close contact with Wallace, and my wheat crop was promising to be a bumper. That was until one day Wallace sent a text message me to call him ASAP.

 “There has been bitter cold these last two days, and the frost has done some damage to wheat all over the Timau area,” Wallace delivered the sad news. I remember I was ready for that, and had sent a tidy sum of money for spraying to protect the crop against frost.  “But the spraying we did seems to have saved some of the crop. Not everything is lost,” Wallace tried to reassure me.

After this, I received more bad news on a weekly basis:  A flock of quelea quelea birds passed by and helped themselves to the wheat. The combine harvester was late in harvesting, making the land soggy, and some of the wheat is rotting in the stalks. There was a glut in wheat production, and the price went down by Kshs. 1, 200 per bag. There seemed to be no let up to problems affecting wheat farmers that season.

“These things do happen, the best thing is to remain positive,”  Wallace said over and over again. He said it even after depositing a measly kshs. 165,000 into my Equity Bank account. I had spent more Kshs, 400,000 on the wheat, making it difficult to keep hope alive.

So now you know why I am walking with my face down and sleep is a luxury to me. I still owe my bank a tidy sum of money. I am still an hourly wage earner, and my million has slipped away, just like the cookie crumbles. You are damned if you do, and damned if you don’t!

Reach Peter Gaitho at pgaitho@eafricainfocus.com

Source: East Africa in Focus

Eleven years ago, Kurdish fugitive Abdullah Ocalan was tracked down to Kenya and captured by Mossad in a spy drama worthy of Hollywood. Photo/FILE

By Muriithi Mutiga

The six travellers arriving at Nairobi’s Jomo Kenyatta International Airport looked like any other tourists on safari. They were casually dressed and carried huge jungle green backpacks.

Nothing betrayed the fact that this party of five men and a woman were Mossad agents whose mission in the country would thrust Kenya into the international spotlight, expose its close ties to Israeli security services and cause a diplomatic row that saw then Foreign Affairs minister Bonaya Godana order all Kenyan embassies closed for a day.

The Israelis came to town 11 years ago this month because of the presence in Nairobi of Abdullah “Apo” Ocalan, at the time one of the world’s most wanted men.

Ocalan was a terrorist to some and a liberator in the eyes of others. He led the Kurdistan Workers Party (PKK), which was engaged in a long struggle to secure an independent state for the Kurdish people — an oppressed minority spread across a number of countries including Turkey, Iraq and Syria.

Ocalan’s group was particularly active in Turkey, the country of his birth. Turkey blamed him for the murder of between 29,000 and 37,000 people in a 15-year campaign of violence.

A baby killer

“Wherever he goes in the world, we will pursue him,” Turkish President Suleyman Demirel had vowed. “Those who befriend him are the partners of a baby killer.”

Unfortunately, in the same fashion that Kenya found itself stuck with controversial cleric Abdullah el Faisal recently and, if US reports are to be believed, with Rwandan genocidaire Felicien Kabuga, Ocalan turned up in Nairobi after being rejected everywhere he sought asylum in Europe.

The circumstances under which he gained entry into the country remain a mystery, but suspicion falls on corrupt immigration officials. He was cleared for entry at Jomo Kenyatta International Airport despite being a wanted man in many countries around the world.

The fact he carried a rifle with him and was accompanied by armed bodyguards did not prove an obstacle to the Greek embassy officials who facilitated his entry into the country. Greecehas long had difficult relations with Turkey and has been accused of supporting the PKK.

They were reluctant to give the fugitive asylum in Greece but settled on Kenya as a hiding place where they would keep the Kurdish leader while trying to help him get asylum elsewhere. Ocalan timed his arrival in Nairobi in January 1999 poorly.

The US Embassy had been bombed only a few months earlier and, according to a New York Times report, there were more than 100 US investigators in the country. The Americans were the first to realise Ocalan was in town, just as they did recently when Sheikh Faisal turned up in Mombasa.

Central Intelligence Agency (CIA) operatives tracked Ocalan to the Greek ambassador’s residence in Nairobi’s upmarket Muthaiga estate. The Americans did nothing. But there was also another team tracking Ocalan’s every move.

Secret service

The Mossad, Israel’s national intelligence agency, was brought into the search for Ocalan in November 1998. The story of how they tracked Ocalan down in Nairobi is detailed in journalist Gordon Thomas’ history of the Israeli secret service, Gideon’s Spies.

According to the book, Israel was drawn into the saga following a phone call that Turkey’s Prime Minister Bulent Ecevit made to his Israeli counterpart Benjamin Netanyahu, asking for help in tracking Ocalan.

Turkey, one of the few democracies in the Near East, is a key ally of Israel, and Mr Netanyahu quickly agreed to help them capture Ocalan as long as the Turkish secret services would agree to claim all credit for his arrest and keep the Mossad role secret. The then head of the Mossad Efraim Halevy was briefed by Mr Netanyahu and assigned a team of six agents for the operation.

The effort was given the codename ‘‘Watchful’’ presumably because, unlike the Mossad team which is suspected to have murdered a Hamas leader in Dubai last month, the brief for this group was merely to track Ocalan but do nothing until they were instructed otherwise.

The search began in Rome. Six agents, including two technicians (yahalomin as they are known in Mossad circles) and a bat leveyha (female agent) set up a surveillance centre near Ocalan’s apartment not far from the Vatican. The female agent’s brief was to attempt to make contact with the fugitive. But Ocalan abruptly left Italy.

Denied asylum

The team followed him frantically to Spain, Morocco, Tunisia, Syria and Portugal where Ocalan kept turning up and leaving as fast as he had arrived after being denied asylum. A breakthrough came when a Dutch official told the Mossad chief in Amsterdam that Ocalan had taken a KLM flight to Nairobi.

On February 5, 1999, the ‘‘Watchful’’ team arrived at JKIA. They were in friendly territory. The Mossad and Kenya’s National Security Intelligence Service (NSIS) and its forerunner, the Special Branch, have always had a special relationship.

Mossad routinely shares intelligence information with Kenya as part of what the book calls an “understanding” between the two countries. Mossad is also allowed to operate a safe house in Nairobi and to work closely with the NSIS.

The Mossad team tracked down Ocalan to the Greek ambassador’s residence, presumably after sharing intelligence with the Americans.

Constant surveillance

They kept the house under constant surveillance before a call from Mossad head Halevy changed everything. He ordered the team to capture Ocalan as soon as possible. The team decided to infiltrate Ocalan’s security team by tracking down one of Ocalan’s bodyguards while he was having a drink near the Norfolk Hotel.

One of the agents approached him and spoke to him in fluent Kurdish to win his trust. The pair established a rapport and Ocalan’s bodyguard told the agent that Ocalan was increasingly uneasy because all his applications for asylum, including the most recent one to South Africa, had been rejected. The Mossad agents already knew this because they were intercepting all communication from the Greek embassy in Nairobi.

A few days later, the agent who had made friends with the Ocalan bodyguard was instructed to meet him and relay a message that his (Ocalan’s) life was in danger and he should leave the ambassador’s residence immediately. The pair of ‘‘Kurds’’ agreed that the best option was to smuggle Ocalan to the mountainous Kurdish region in the north of Iraq, where it would be difficult to capture Ocalan.

Phone calls

The Israeli made this suggestion because the intercepted phone calls at the embassy had indicated this as an option Ocalan was considering. When the deal was sealed to smuggle Ocalan out of the embassy, his days as a (relatively) free man were numbered.

On February 14, 1999, a Falcon-900 executive jet arrived at Wilson Airport. The pilot indicated he had come to pick up a group of businessmen in Nairobi. Later that afternoon, a team of NSIS operatives and Mossad agents went to the Greek ambassador’s house and surrounded it. They knew Ocalan had packed up to leave for northern Iraq.

But, according to a senior NSIS official with knowledge of the operation who spoke to the Sunday Nation on condition of anonymity, they did not wait for Ocalan to make his way out of the compound. They burst into the residence, arrested him and whisked him off to Wilson Airport.

There, Ocalan was blindfolded, his fingerprints taken and faxed to authorities in the Israeli capital Tel Aviv and Ankara, Turkey. The drama was only beginning. Kenyan authorities had agreed to cooperate on the capture of Ocalan apparently without understanding the diplomatic crisis his arrest would trigger.

Over 12 million Kurds, among whom Ocalan enjoys almost messianic status, were outraged. Kenyan embassies in Europe were quickly surrounded by protesting mobs. Two officials at the Kenyan Embassy in Paris were kidnapped and later released. Three protesters were shot dead in the chaos.

The situation was not helped when Ocalan, apparently unaware of Mossad’s role in his capture, placed the blame squarely on Kenyan authorities. With the crisis getting out of control, Dr Godana issued an order shutting down all Kenya’s 34 embassies abroad.

Then the questions began. How had Kenya allowed Ocalan into its territory? Had money changed hands between the agencies which helped to capture Ocalan and Kenyan authorities? A report by the French news agency AFP alleged Dr Godana, appreciating the possible consequences of Ocalan’s capture, had opposed the decision to authorise his capture but had been overruled by President Moi.

Greece was equally embarrassed. It was quick to distance itself from the arrest of Ocalan, saying it had no role in handing him over to his captors. Facing hostile questioning from Kenyan authorities, George Costoulas, the country’s ambassador at the time, retreated to the country’s embassy on the 13th floor of Nation Centre and did not leave for three days.

Kenya demanded that he be recalled to Greece. On Wednesday, February 16, a senior Greeke government official Pavlos Apostolidis arrived in the country to apologise. He said the country had referred Ocalan to Kenya because they thought the “situation in Kenya was better… In the final analysis our decision to send Ocalan to Kenya did as much harm to Greece as it would have done if he had been in Greece.”

Celebration

As expected, the mood in Turkey was one of celebration. Prime Minister Costas Simitis, in keeping with his agreement with Mr Netanyahu, claimed credit for the capture and thanked the Turkish security forces. Turkish newspapers lavished praise on their security forces and published detailed accounts of what they thought had happened.

“When a Turkish officer grabbed his wrist and said ‘You’ve come to the end of the road, we are going to Turkey, Apo froze in horror,” reported the Sabah daily. Details of Mossad’s role would only emerge later. But Ocalan is unlikely to leave the remote Turkish island prison where he is serving his life sentence any time soon. 

mmutiga@ke.nationmedia.com

On a serious note with BMJ Muriithi

Life in the United States can be humbling. Before I came here, I had heard all manner of tell-tales.

An enemy of mine, who I now believe had a ulterior motive and really wanted me to leave Kenya, told me that contrary to what I used to see on TV, streets in the US are paved in gold and green bucks grow on trees.

He went on to tell me that as soon as I landed at the airport, some Americans would be waiting for me with my keys to a free brand new car after which they would usher me into my new apartment in which I would live happily thereafter.

I would have believed him, but something urged me not to. First of all, I am not so daft to believe that kind of nonsense.

Second of all, other than having a loud mouth and know-it-all attitude, this enemy of mine didn’t have much going for him. As far as I know, the poor fellow has spent all his life in Kanyuambora. Not that there is anything wrong with Kanyuambora.

But when a man is born and raised in Kanyuambora village, goes to Kanyuambora primary school and is thereafter admitted at the neighboring Kanyuambora Mixed Secondary School after which he takes a carpentry course at the adjacent Kanyuambora intermediate College, then you need to think twice when he, all of a sudden, becomes an expert on matters related to the land of the free.

Anyhow, I ended up in the United States and came face to face with the reality of Bushland (George W. Bush was the president at the time). It didn’t take me long to realize that this was not my idea of a nice place.

The big chasm between reality and fantasy was unfolding right in front of my eyes. I worked all manner of jobs, applied for admission at many colleges, applied for a number of credit cards, ran a number of red lights and ended up in court.

There were no Makutis to go to for Nyama choma and moja ya baridi, people were cold and smiles were few and far between. I missed my life in Kanyuambora more than ever before. The society was nothing close to the one I had been accustomed to in Kanyuambora.

But it was not all gloom as there was another side of the life here that I loved and still do; the society is fairly classless and nobody really cares about what you do – or don’t do, what you drive, etc., as long as the dollars keep coming. And that would have remained the case had I not developed some new enemies in the new land.

You see, I was naïve to think that I had left all the loud mouths in Kenya. As a matter of fact, it turned out that some of the loudest Kenyan mouths live here. And had this particular enemy done the right thing and kept his big mouth shut, I would not be boring you with this. But obviously, he did not and therefore, you have to read on. But not before you promise me that you can keep a secret.

You see, I recently received a disturbing phone call from a village clan elder named Mbiti (whose name literally means Hyena) who said that someone who lives here in Atlanta has been calling home (Kanyuambora ) and spreading extremely malicious rumors about me.

He has been telling all who care to listen that since I came to the land of Obama, I have become a totally different person and an embarrassment to our clan.

“We are very embarrassed after hearing what you have done”, he said and added, “we hear that your wife is the one who wears trousers nowadays and that you have been relegated to the kitchen. We hear that you are the one who does the cooking nowadays. What a shame? Those are not our ways. Those are not the virtues we taught you”, he said faintly.

The old man sounded disturbed. But how I wish he could understand me. You see, owing to the realization of how hectic life can get here, coupled with the fact that it is next to impossible to afford a technical assistant (house girl or house boy), my wife suggested that I should every so often help with cooking and doing other chores.

I agreed on condition that the arrangement did not leave the four walls of my house. I made her swear that my kinsmen in Kanyuambora would not get a whiff of it.

You see, I summoned my wife-to-be into my simba one evening and made it crystal clear that there were some things she would have to put up with should she decide to get married to me.

The Kitchen issue featured prominently in our conversation. I told her as clearly as I could that as a man from Kanyuambora, I would be shaming my clan if I behaved in a manner likely to suggest that the kitchen was my domain. I explained that I belonged to a clan that was not known to encourage the behavior.

I told her that my people consider it bad manners for a man to be hovering around the kitchen especially with the intention of doing chores therein. My wife-to-be just sat there, staring blankly at me. I did not know whether she understood what I had just said and I therefore went on to clarify further. “You see”, I said, “I am a descendant of a long line of ancestors who never condoned a man’s activity in the kitchen”. I told her a true story about my late grandfather who had divorced his aging first wife simply because she had asked him to get into the kitchen and help her get her huge milk gourd onto her back.

But even as I told her those stories, I knew at the back of my mind that she would say yes to anything I said at the time. You see, when a woman is truly in love with a man, she can do anything to make him happy. So I went on to spell out all the dos and don’ts, Key among them being the issue of exempting me from kitchen-related activities. It was not until she agreed to the arrangement that I agreed to take a beehive full of live bees as bride price to her people.

And we would have lived that way happily ever after until we came to the US where the matrix changed. And I would have live with our little secret until my enemies got wind of it and started tarnishing my name right, left and center. But I take consolation in the fact that I am not alone in this predicament. Almost all my men friends here have confessed that the frequency with which they are burning their fingers kitchen is worrying. In the meantime, I have launched a manhunt to try and identify those “friends” of mine who come to my house to “spy” on me. Thanks to them, I am now the talk of the village albeit in absentia.

 -Kimmediagroup.com

Quincy Timberlake aka Fizzle Dogg

When Esther Arunga walked into the press conference room on Thursday to set the record straight, she was a new woman.

The humble and sweet face that united Kenyans in loving her was gone and, in its place, was a blank stare. The sweet voice that wooed us all to watch the news religiously was no more. A more aggressive, almost combatant voice, had taken residence instead.

She wore a look that loudly exclaimed: “Good girl gone”.

For someone who viciously protected her private life, Esther Arunga was sparing no words to express her disappointment with what she described as ‘‘stupid journalism’’ and garbage reporting.

Full of contempt, Arunga, dressed in all black, could not explain why she chose to live with a married man in his house while she could afford to live comfortably on her own.

“I am almost 30 and I can live wherever I want,” she said spinning her neck.

Some questions she did not even have to answer. “That’s a stupid question,’’ she shot back.

The irony was that one of the most notable faces on television was talking trash about the media in general which she was a part of until a week ago and quit because “I wasn’t being paid enough.”

But she contradicted herself severally, telling the media that she quit because of a low salary but later saying she will sue the media but not for financial gain. 

“You can keep your money,” she yelled.

Nobody knows how much money she is making by being the director of Hellon’s music company which handles all of his live performances to make her quit her job.

But, once in a while, the girl that Kenyans came to love would jump from behind the stern look and smile or say something but this would be hurled back to where it came from.

As Hellon talked, she agreed to every word he said while his wife was seated next to him silent only smiling occasionally.

The moment of the week came when she went hard on her ex-fiancé, Wilson Malaba, whom she accused of cheating on her and not having his finances in order.

Two cancelled wedding ceremonies in one year. Arunga said her first wedding was affected by long distance and, of course, the most recent one was because of infidelity. She called off both weddings.

Asked whether it was true Hellon had, through his spiritual dad in the US (said to be Benny Hinn) given her someone to love, she said “Not true” and changed the subject.

As for Hellon, he was not offended by all the negative publicity about his church or dealings with Arunga. He said the media had helped him launch his political career.

“No news is bad news,” he told a packed press conference and in what can only be said to be a brilliant way to divert all the attention, he decided to announce his candidature for the 2012 presidency with Esther as his running mate.

That statement caught her by surprise but she played along well.

Asked why he was not fazed by all the publicity, Hellon said: “I want to lead a country of 40 million people, so such a small story cannot scare me.”

Esther has since deleted her facebook account.

Enter Wilson Malaba, the man at the centre of it all – Esther’s ex-fiancé.

Although he won’t admit it, Wilson Malaba is a very distraught man. Up until Sunday, February 7, it was all systems go for the couple’s wedding plans.

In fact, on that Sunday, Wilson’s family visited the Arunga family at their home in Kileleshwa to firm up the plans.

The following day (February 8), they spent most of the afternoon together at his office from where Arunga left to read the news on KTN at around 7 p.m.

“From that point everything was okay until the following evening when I started receiving SMSs from Hellon about how I killed his child, how I was planning to kill Esther in a road accident, and my expulsion from the church,” said Wilson.

He tried to call Esther but she wouldn’t answer his calls or reply to his SMSs. The only one that came from her was the one breaking their engagement, saying it was from guidance from Esther’s spiritual father (Hellon).

She also accused him of having a wife and two children in South B estate.

“The accusations of killing someone or plotting to kill my fiancee were very disturbing and that is why I decided to inform the authorities,” says Wilson.

Wilson also denies having any children and even offers to put up a paid newspaper advert asking anyone who has his child to come out in public.

“It’s all totally false and I am willing to go the entire length including the advert and doing DNA tests to prove that I have not fathered any child,” he said with an anger laden voice.

Wilson was at the Kilimani Police Station when Hellon was brought in to record a statement. With Hellon were Esther Arunga and Quincy Timberlake.

Wilson says that Esther refused to talk to him. Hellon was arraigned in a Kibera court and was released on a cash bail of Sh20,000.

Since then, Esther has refused to leave Hellon’s house in Runda and only appeared in public at the press conference on Thursday. According to Wilson, she wasn’t even accessible to her parents who have been very worried about her.

Wilson and Esther met in early 2008 but at that time, Esther was engaged to someone else, a pilot. However, it was only after Arunga broke her engagement with the pilot in October of 2008 when she and Wilson became an item.

At the time of their meeting, Esther Arunga was already a member of the Finger of God Ministries International – the church in question.

“It is Esther who persuaded me to join and I did so in May last year,” he recalls.

Wilson was already a pastor, ordained at the Redeemed Gospel Church, although he was not actively preaching. Naturally, he found it easy to join the church leadership when invited to do so by Hellon.

“Everything was fine and there was nothing out of the ordinary until some guy called Quincy Timberlake joined,” recalls Wilson.

The official word at the time, and what Hellon repeated at the press conference, was that Quincy was Hellon’s childhood friend who had just returned from the UK and was back to do music with Hellon and help him run the church.

Later it emerged that Quincy was actually sent by famous televangelist Benny Hinn to help Hellon with the ministry.

According to Wilson, Hellon is not a bad person but has been deceived by Quincy who claims to be a go-between between Hellon and ‘‘Benny Hinn’’.

Emails purported to be conversations between ‘‘Benny Hinn’’ and Hellon, and which have been seen by Buzz, appear to be a conversation between the two.

From the emails, it appears as though Pastor Hinn was giving daily advice to Hellon including advising Hellon against Wilson and Esther’s marriage.

Instead, in one of the emails, Pastor Hinn advises Esther to marry Quincy.

According to Wilson, he got the emails from a former member of the church who was fired by Hellon when she complained about his association with the women staying in his house.

The lady in question happened to have had Hellon’s password and is willing to stand by the allegations in public. We have since established the identity of the lady but nothing different has come forth.

At the press conference, however, Hellon rubbished the authenticity of the emails branding them ‘‘fake’’ and being used to tarnish his name and that of the organisation.

He says that Pastor Hinn has been his spiritual father since 1996.

On Friday, a Nairobi newspaper reported that ‘‘Benny Hinn’’ had denied knowledge of Hellon or even his ministry.

Also, it has to be noted that opening an email in someone’s name is very easy and someone could have easily opened an email account pretending to be Hinn.

So, did Hellon believe that he was talking to the real Hinn when it could have been someone with the fake email even next door to him?

“That’s possible and I want to insist that Hellon could have been deceived,” adds Wilson.

The ogre in all this is one Quincy Timberlake aka Fizzle Dogg.

His identity is closely guarded and even those who know him are unwilling to divulge information. Buzz learnt that this is the same man who had in 2003 walked into Ogopa Dj offices claiming to be a South African national interested in a collabo with K-Rupt.

Several weeks into the deal, sources say, his dealings became dodgy and Ogopa suspended any further association with the “big name from SA asking K-Rupt to relook the arrangement.

Weeks later K-Rupt died and Fizzle Dogg vanished.

Kiss FM’s Shaffie Weru remembers the artiste but says he was too inconsistent to be believed, “if he is the same guy then I wouldn’t take him seriously,” says Shaffie; “He could do anything to become famous.”

One time entertainment journalist Dan Teng’o vaguely remembers the artiste but cannot recognise him now.

Who exactly is Quincy?

Why is he the man, according to the emails, better placed to marry Esther? Is Hellon too gullible to recognise the tell- tale signs of a con game?

An anonymous source told Buzz that Quincy is indeed a Kenyan national. A car sale deal transacted in 2003 places Quincy’s identity in question.

If he came back to Kenya only last December, why is it that he lived in Golden Gate, South B, in 2003 driving a Mitsubishi Lancer bought locally.

Why is it that every communication he has with the supposed ‘‘Benny Hinn’’ is on g-mail or text? Why is it that on the official website of all the celebs he says he has dated and courted, no one knows him?

Event organiser Big Kev says Quincy is the cause of all the grief but adds that he has never met him even though True Blaq entertainment has his questionable profile alongside that of K-Rupt on their site.

Wilson Malaba says Quincy is the problem but does not have a picture of him and has never met him.

Who is saying the truth? By the time of going to press Buzz had conclusively unwrapped the mystery that is Quincy. He is not what he wants people to believe he is.

He is the same wannabe who has lived and played with Lingala musicians locally.

Senior pastors at Benny Hinn’s crusade in Kampala have confirmed that Bishop Arthur Kitonga is their official contact in Kenya. What happens to the angel and the Saxophonist?

Reporting by Philip Mwaniki, TKB, John Muchiri and Adhyambo Odera
buzz@nation.co.ke